American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

Several blogging/twitter friends of mine are participating in a wonderful fundraising effort this Fall, and I wanted to take the time to share it here with you. As my long time followers know, suicide prevention is a cause close to my heart and I applaud their efforts to make a difference. I wanted to reblog the post from it’s original source, but for some reason I can’t. lol. SO I copy pasted. Pretty sure they won’t mind.


November 15th is fast approaching! Don’t forget in addition to the wonderful efforts of  Tim Baughman, Eve Jacob, Tabitha, Sounds Nerdy, and our friends broadcasting the  podcast We Were (Kind of) A Big Deal in College . 100% of proceeds from Candy Apple Butterscotch and Novelties: A Collection of Unfinished Short Stories will go toward a donation to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

Thats right! 100% of all proceeds from November 15th- December 25th 2018 will be donated to the AFSP. Kindle and paperback editions are eligible.


“I was running. Fast and furious through a forest full of cotton candy pink pine trees. Running from what? I still wasn’t certain. Something in my mind was buzzing. The only thing I could think was to run. I heard a faint voice screaming in the distance, and a crash of glass falling to the floor. Suddenly I was rocketed out of my dream to the realization that the screams and glass I heard weren’t a product of my imagination; but my boyfriend flailing in a night terror.

Before I could get out of the way, he swung wildly in my direction and connected with my chest. I gasped for breath, instantly aware of the room and the man deeply entrenched in a subconscious flash back fighting for his life. I scrambled to escape his reach but before I could, he grabbed my arm and pinned me down, wrapping his hands tightly around my throat. A fire in his eyes that could be felt as well as seen in the dim light. I threw all of my strength into fighting for my life. I clawed at his hands, and my knee came up and connected with his chest hard knocking the wind out of him. Momentarily his grip tightened before he snapped out of his subconscious, and released me.

I rolled away from him as fast as I could. In my haste I fell from the bed coughing and gagging as I hit the floor. I lay there for a moment, catching my breath and waiting for him to settle back into sleep. When I heard the soft heavy breathing settle into a normal rhythmic pattern I pulled myself up off the floor and stumbled out of the bedroom into the bathroom. I stared in the mirror, examining my neck for bruises tears welling up in my eyes. I wasn’t afraid of the man I loved, but I was scared and concerned for him. He never remembered his night terrors and I couldn’t hold it against him. Still, part of me was wondering why I stayed with him. The scared teen girl who had inadvertently fallen for this battered, bruised, crazy, beautiful, intelligent, mysterious, captivating, and troubled man. I stood there staring blankly a few more moments before sleep returned to my eyes and I headed back to bed.

I climbed back under the covers, snuggled up to the now calmly sleeping man beside me and quietly whispered: “I’m still here. I love you.”

He only moaned in reply, rolled from his stomach to his back and softly began to snore. I shuffled away from him and turned my back as I wept softly into my pillow before settling back into sleep myself. It wasn’t the first time I’d cried myself to sleep in his bed, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last, but I’m getting ahead of myself here. Let’s go back and start at the beginning, shall we?”

We meet Rebecca at the tender age of eight as she is exposed to the dark side of humanity for the very first time during the height of the late 90’s drug epidemic. The impact of which left her reeling many years later. Especially so when she entered the world of dating, and met a man who seemed to be a ghost from her past.

Follow along as Rebecca discovers her resilience after a haunting, abusive past. She not only survives, but thrives with an insurmountable sense of optimism, tenacity and hope.

Candy Apple Butterscotch: A Memoir

Available now!


Before she wrote her memoir Candy Apple Butterscotch, Rebecca MacCeile had a library full of dusty notebooks with long forgotten fictional tales. Each one of these short stories encompasses a different world, and different ideas. Most of them are light hearted, some of them are fantastical, and still some of them have echos of her own struggles as she used her creativity to cope with her undiagnosed PTSD. Take a peek into her raw private texts with Novelties: A Collection of Unfinished Short Stories, meet some of her most endearing characters and get a glimpse into the world of an author seeking to find the “one” story deemed good enough for the masses.

Novelties: A Collection of Unfinished Short Stories 

Available now!

School Bells

I did it. I finally got back to school. I’ve been working toward this goal for almost a decade with various different levels of success and now, I have FINALLY achieved it.

I’ve been enrolled for a while, but didn’t want to say anything until I completed my first semester just because I’ve had so many other false starts. Lol. Hubs and I have actually enrolled together which is a nice motivator to keep at it.

We decided to try an online school. I was apprehensive at first knowing that I’m an auditory learner, but the school we chose has their stuff together! I get reading material and videos to watch as well going over the key points of the lesson. I can read it; and I can hear it to reinforce the information. I’ve done well on my first two exams and I’m excited to continue toward my degree.

I’ve chosen to focus on marketing and business management with this particular school with the intentions to receive my masters in Human Resources at a local brick and mortar school. It’s a career path I’d never really considered before, but one that encompasses all of my passions and experience without requiring an internship or doctorate before I can enter the workforce.

If I continue on at my current rate of study I should be finished with my bachelors by 2021 and ready to begin my full time career just as the Twins get ready for Kindergarten.

Hubs should finish his degree sometime next year or early 2020 which will finally give him the requirements needed for the promotion he so desperately deserves at his current company.

Little is very excited that Hubs and I are going back to school. She loves school and was excited to share the experience with us even though we don’t get to ride the bus (which is one of the best parts apparently) or see her teacher every day.

I’m just excited that I’ve finally found something to continue my education while not interfering with my job or family time. School also seems to be much easier to focus on now that I’m settled in my personal life. With the publication of my books and putting that part of my past completely behind me it’s exciting to focus forward on the future of proving for my family.

Muddy Waters

Hubs and I took the Littles to one of my favorite amusement parks last weekend. It was the Twins’ first experience with anything ride/theme park related, Little’s second. They all had an absolute blast. Hubs and I did too! We’ve been trying to visit a theme park since we started dating ten years ago and just never got around to it until now. lol. Plus it was extra special to see the wonder and excitement on our Littles’ faces riding around on the rides and eating junk food and generally having a great experience all around.

It was a wonderful way to end Little’s Fall Break and inspired a lot of memories for everyone I think.

Of course, the downfall of this amusement park is that we ended up back in Ohio which is generally a huge trigger for me. I haven’t struggled with any anxiety since my successful EMDR session this past Spring, but now I’m just stuck with memory fragments from the insanity that happened in our apartment before we moved in 2017. It’s difficult to stay grounded and not let my imagination run away with me as I’m patiently waiting for my repression instinct to let go and unlock the complete memories. If the complete memories even exist.

Part of what happened involves missing medication which I’m fairly certain made it into the back of my throat without my consent. At least I’m certain that I choked on something before my memories went haywire and found my medicine bottle moved with two pills unaccounted for. Regardless of where the pills went and whom put them there… if they ended up in my system the dose was enough to alter my memory. Not enough to completely BLOCK my memory but definitely enough to alter it substantially. I may very well not have the complete memories to recall after the repression fades.

Having more fragments become more clear each time I visit Ohio leads me to believe that there is at least some repression affecting what keeps cycling through my head. If they’re there, they’ll eventually come to light. I can’t rush them without retraumatizing myself. It’s all a frustrating waiting game. At least the other symptoms that come with PTSD are easier to manage now that I understand what’s happening. I’m not as emotionally invested to my memory fragments this time around which makes them much easier to cope with. EASIER, for sure, but it’s still not pleasant navigating these muddy waters after trauma has once again rattled my brain.

WTF White Ladies?!

You know, as a Caucasian woman who’s been fortunate enough to grow up in middle class suburbs I can admit I’m fairly ignorant when it comes to the struggles that people of color face on the daily. I’ve unintentionally perpetuated racist ideas/language/etc on several occasions due purely to my ignorance.

Do you know what I’ve never done? I’ve never felt the need to alert the authorities for people of color living their own lives and minding their own damn business. What in the actual fuck is going on here when every three days it seems some white person or another is calling the police for a person of color existing in the same space?! Like what in the actual fuck?

I don’t really even have much more to say. My brain does not compute what the hell people are thinking… although to be honest, this sort of this has probably been happening for a lot longer than it’s been getting publicity. Maybe it’s not really a new problem so much as our blinders as society at large are finally being taken off.

Baby Fever

There comes a point in most women’s lives where they REALLY want a(nother) baby no matter how illogical, it seems.

Even though I made peace with my twins ending my childbearing adventure, there are so many friends and coworkers having these adorable tiny humans and I just want another of my own to squish and snuggle.

I can’t have any more children. During my c-section delivery they also performed a bilateral tubal ligation. It was elective and a choice my husband and decided on together. I never wanted to have children after 30, and Hubs never wanted more than two children in the first place so… lol. It was a fairly easy decision to make. I don’t regret it, and yet I still really want another teeny human.

Maybe I just need to baby sit an infant for a while to remind myself exactly why I chose not to have any more lol. That sounds like a much less permanent plan. Lol. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hitting the Road

I’M GOING ON TOUR. A local bookstore that has locations scattered all across the state has expressed interest in setting up signings and readings at their locations in support of my books.

I’M GOING ON A BOOK TOUR. I’m like a real artist now. Lol.

With the publication of my second book, I decided to branch out my distribution a bit as well. Since my books aren’t my primary source of income, I’ve been testing the waters with several local bookstores to see exactly what I could do in terms of getting my work on shelves. Originally, I just wanted to sell some stock and get my books out there a bit more. I’ve already surpassed my expectations and goals for my writing, so this is just sort of my usual “seat of my pants what the hell, why not?” attitude. Curiosity mostly lol. I’m self taught in all things publishing and marketing so I’m really looking for the experience more than sales.

And boy will it be an experience for sure! I haven’t done any public speaking/performance in ages, and I’ve certainly never stood up on a podium in front of people trying to sell myself and my art before. I’m a writer!! Not a performer!! Lol.

So… this is an exciting chapter in my authoring adventure! I feel kind of like I’ve neglected all of my Patchwork fans, because I’ve been so busy working on my book stuffs. I wish I could do both in one place. For the privacy of my family and kids I really can’t though.

Especially if I’m about to head out on the road. I don’t mind sharing my life with the kiddos here with you all in blogland, but going out and about into the real world for my book marketing makes me wary of sharing anything about them with my book audience. Especially in this charged political climate where anything could make anyone do rash, violent things.

I will still promote my books, and go out on the front lines so to speak, but I’m keeping my kids at a safe distance. Or trying to anyway.

AFSP Fundraiser Feature: That Tiny Website

Join Tim, my long time blogging friend, and others in their efforts to raise money for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention during the months of November and December!

Rebecca MacCeile

Hello friends and followers! I have some exciting news to share in regards to my fundraising efforts for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

Join me along with Tim Baughman, Eve Jacob, Tabitha, Sounds Nerdy, and our friends broadcasting the podcast We Were (Kind of) A Big Deal in College .

We’ll focus on Tim today.

Tim is an independent author, editor, podcaster and all around great guy. This project was his idea and he’s been a great help in getting everything organized for us.

His pledge is to donate all of the proceeds from his collection of wonderful stories: An Epilogue to Innocence as well as all Patreon pledges he receives during the months of November and December.

You can find An Epilogue to Innocence on Amazon or at the link provided here:

You can find his Patreon page at the link provided here:

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It’s Here!!

It’s official everyone: my latest book is up on the site and available for pre-order now!

Before she wrote her memoir, she had a library full of dusty notebooks with long forgotten fictional tales. Each one of these short stories encompasses a different world, and different ideas. Most of them are light hearted, some of them are fantastical, and still some of them have echos of her own struggles as she used her creativity to cope with her undiagnosed PTSD. 

Take a peak into her raw private texts with Novelties: A Collection of Unfinished Short Stories, meet some of her most endearing characters and get a glimpse into the world of an author seeking to find the “one” story deemed good enough for the masses.

Check it out! Paperback version to follow. 🙂



My fiction collective is ready for the masses and will be released October 31st! 🤩

I’m pretty excited to be sharing these little gems, my commentary on why I abandoned them and how they all helped me grow as an author. The perks of self publishing! Lol.

Right now I’m just planning on releasing a Kindle Edition to test the waters and see how it sells. My memoir exceeded my expectations, but I’m not entirely sure how well “unfinished short stories” will come across to an audience.

My third book is going well even in its early stages. That one is going to take a lot more work before it’s ready for editing and I’m not certain I’ll reach my goal of publication next Spring, especially with the holidays coming up and my work schedule becoming hectic here recently.

This is why I’m thrilled with the independent publishing route I decided to take. No one really cares if I meet my self imposed deadline or not. If it takes me three years to finish? It takes me three years to finish. I don’t have agents and publishers hounding me for production and interfering with my creative process. It’s alllllllllllll me.

Anyway… stay tuned! I’ll be sharing more details on Novelties as they become available. 😄

Stand in Your Truth


Stand in your truth
Your voice may be quiet
but it speaks for many

Be who you are
You are the love
that calms the spirit

Breathe deep
Conserve your energy

Live life, fully present
Recognize and embrace
the goddess warrior in yourself
in us all
©Alexis Rose, Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

Thank you for reading my books: If I Could Tell You How It Feels, and Untangled, A Story of Resilience, Courage, and Triumph    

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