Beautifully written, and worth a read!
Over the weekend, someone asked me if I was happier now than I was eight years ago when my PTSD took over my life. I was surprised when my answer without thought was, “no, I’m not happier.” The answer stopped me in my tracks. I have worked my ass off to find some semblance of health these past years. I have gone from having a repressed, all dark past, to a congruent timeline with all puzzle pieces filled in. I know the who, why, when, how-the-heck these things could happen, all of it. I know the big picture and the minutiae. But I had mistakenly thought that my PTSD would be gone, (like my cancer was gone after treatment) cured, and I would be skipping back to work with no lingering symptoms. No one put that in my head but me. My symptoms are still active, and that’s the way it…
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Today marks one year since one of the most terrifying experiences I've ever faced in my life. Waking up to find my 5 week old baby boy covered in bloody vomit, and enduring his emergency surgery the next day. My anxiety has been on 11 … Continue reading First Traumaversary
Ever since my little B2 figured out the phrase "uh oh" it's been hilarious around here. The kids will all be playing in the living room, or he'll be in his crib for nap time, a crash of a falling toy will happen then the … Continue reading Uh Oh
I feel like I'm failing my Little. She's been acting out A LOT recently, and I don't know what to do to help her. I thought maybe she was jealous of the time I spend interacting with the Twins now that they're beginning the interaction … Continue reading Mom Problems
I'm a scientist at heart, so my social media has been wrought with little blurbs about my rollercoaster of emotions trying to adjust to these meds. So far, I'm really not a fan of them at all. They do help my anxiety, which is a … Continue reading Kelli’s Brain Chemistry Adventures
2016 was a rough year for us, for so many reasons, but it ended on a high note with Hubs in town visiting for the weekend. I was so happy to have my family all together under one roof again, and the kids were ecstatic. … Continue reading This Makes it Worth the Struggle
Great read, always worth checking out. There are links in the article for resources in the U.K., -!: I’m including here the link for the USA National Suicide Hotline.
With one in four of us estimated to have experienced or expected to experience a serious mental illness within our lifetime, it’s no wonder that the vast majority of us will have pondered “what’s the point of being alive?” at some point or another. For some, these thoughts visit fleetingly proceeding an upsetting event-for others, they develop into a devastating downward spiral of deep and prolonged despair.
When I was thirteen, on top of my already present PTSD and OCD, I developed severe clinical depression: something which clouded my sky and eradicated all hope and positivity from the world around me. It took me a long time to open up-there’s something about the black wall of the illness that obscures realistic thought processes; I saw myself as a burden, nothing more than an inconvenience to those closest to me. Surrounded by a terrible lack of support from the mental health…
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I agree with this whole heartedly! As painful as the healing journey might be, 85/ infinitely less painful than remaining in a disordered state of mind/being.
2016 ended on a resoundly positive note after dragging me through the mud. I'll write more in depth about it later, I just wanted to share this song which I think I'm going to make my theme for the year of 2017, my 30th year, … Continue reading Can’t Be Unsaid