So during the month of April I was participating in a social media campaign called Red My Lips, which focuses on bringing attention to the fact that rapists are entirely to blame for their actions and the victim blaming trope of what victims were wearing … Continue reading New Look
Wow, from April of last year until this year sexual assault has been in the news more often than it hasn't. Which is an overwhelming, amazing, and disheartening thing all at once. I always dreamed of having a lasting impact by choosing to speak out … Continue reading Wrapping Up: S.A.A.M. 2018
There was an ad displaying the exploitation of Denim Day that came across my feed on Facebook a few weeks ago. At first I was more confused than offended. I knew Denim Day was associated with SAAM and sexual assault awareness in some way, but … Continue reading SAAM: Denim Day
The topic of transformation, metamorphosis, growth, change, (insert whatever word works for your personal journey) has been front and center for me lately. Most of us want to grow and change. It’s hard; no one said it was going to be easy. But rarely do people talk about the absolute pain one feels when emotional wounds get ripped open in order to process, heal and grow.
It’s a lonely journey because no one else can go inside of you and heal those wounds or take away the rawness.
You have to be the one to do it.
However, it certainly doesn’t have to be an “alone” journey. We can find therapists, support groups, friends, family, books, even blogs so we are surrounded by the support we need. In fact, I think it’s imperative to find people who absolutely “get it” and can relate with empathy when we are in the process…
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This is a complicated and deeply personal post I wrote immediately following the last confrontation with my rapist. He wrote out a comment on a post here I wrote several years ago and I responded. At first I kept my response private, discussing it only … Continue reading SAAM: Draining the Wound
This is important, especially in today’s world of social media.
(My thanks to Barbara Roberts for her help with this article)
I am sure that you have watched police SWAT teams in action at a hostage situation. As the hostages emerge, a strange thing happens. The police treat them as if they were the bad guys. They have them kneel down, hands in the air, frisk them and handcuff them. Why? Because if the police have never actually seen the suspects, they want to be sure that the bad guys aren’t trying to escape in the disguise of one of the hostages. And that is how we need to handle abuse situations, because it is very, very common for the abuser to claim to be the victim – and his disguise can be pretty ingenious. Many hostages are thrown in “jail” while the bad guys go free when it comes to how our churches are dealing with abuse…
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Up first on my roster of guest posts for SAAM is one of my long time blogging buddies CWMartin from Tilting at Windmills. He's been a follower since my blogger days, and has even become a close friend over the years. I respect his opinion a … Continue reading SAAM: Guest Post
I quote my son a lot in my writing. He has said some very wise things in moments of upset, fear, or when a “new normal” is emerging for our family. Most of the time, I think it’s designed to calm himself, but when I hear them, the words land deep and continue to inch deeper, spreading into the recesses of my mind.
My husband had a huge health scare in February. He is continuing to recover and though it feels like a long road to him, I expect he will be much healthier in a few months than he has been for many, many years. When the kids and I were experiencing some angst in the early days of my husband’s illness, my son said, “By this time next year we won’t even be thinking about this. Things will be different. A lot can change in a year!”
“A Lot Can…
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I wish I hadn’t seen his struggle. I wish I could look back and only remember the ugly times. The times he abused me. The times he neglected me. The times he abandon me. I wish I didn’t have to see the times he cried. … Continue reading SAAM: Survivor Story Pt 2
Looking back on things is hard, especially when you've started to heal. You can see those choices that were made in haste and through unhealthy thought processes glaring at you like red flashing becons. They seem to say: "HELLO, THIS WAS A HORRIBLE LIFE DECISION. … Continue reading SAAM: We Are Humanity