Oooooooh… Now I Get It.

I’m a pretty intuitive person by nature. After a little while of careful observation it doesn’t take me too long to figure things out, but there are some things that are blatantly obvious to most people that I completely miss. Mostly because I don’t see things in the same cynical light that most others paint on to a situation. I’m always looking for the positives in any situations, but by doing so I sometimes miss the heart of the issue. I’ve gotten much better as I’ve gotten older and encountered different people and situations, but back in the day I was pretty oblivious.

Nothing is a better example of this than my CD collection which grew to it’s peak when I was 18-21. Especially the last CD I bought. I had stuffed it down into my CD binder and ignored it for a very long time due to the circumstances around it’s purchase. I just started going through everything yesterday trying to consolidate and get rid of things I don’t need, and I found it. I thought about it a bunch and decided why not? I haven’t listened to it for nearly six years I’ll give it a chance. I really liked it then, I shouldn’t deny myself something awesome just because of some old memories.

I listened to the entire thing start to finish last night, and felt like a total ditz. The reason I had been ignoring it was the very reason I needed to be listening to it. If I had been paying attention it might have made things a whoooooooole lot less dramatic. Probably not less painful but much less dramatic. Whoops.

Anyway, now that I’ve listened and figured it out it’s going in the trash. Not because it’s bad but because it’s not fair to Kevin if I keep this little piece of my past around. It’s been haunting my CD binder forever and I have new and better things to put in it’s place. If I hadn’t been avoiding it the whole time we could have done this ages ago… but y’know. Sometimes you need time and space to figure things out. A LOT of time. Especially when you have completely missed the initial point and flown off onto some other tangent. Lol.

In other news, we have REAL internets now! I am currently down loading a whole slue of new software and software updates that I have neglected over these months of crappy internets. Yes CURRENTLY as I type this, AT THE SAME TIME. I had forgotten that was possible!! Lol.

Oh, and now the baby needs me. I guess I’ll have to finish that thought later. Until then Bloggies!

Jaded

I have a confession Bloggies. Reading about the atrocities in Boston barely affected me at all. I feel soul less, uncaring and completely numb. Really, I don’t have any words. I’ve been thinking about it all afternoon and this is all I could come up with. It just doesn’t even faze me anymore.

I remember how back in the day prior to September 11th anytime I watched the news and something atrocious happened, even if it was far away I wouldn’t be able to sleep for weeks and I would be scared to death. I just grieved completely and intensely for all of the people involved in whatever it was. Things affected me to the very core. Now, in this current state of affairs I read the stories on the news think to myself, those poor people, send up a little prayer and move on to the next one.

It has just been one thing after another here in recent months. Shootings, explosions, wars, threats of wars, complete insanity, and it has completely drained my empathy. I’m not apathetic because I do care, I just don’t FEEL anything anymore. Maybe it’s just because I have been in such a constant state of sadness for the state of humanity in recent months. I mean, one can only feel so sad before you just can’t feel anymore sadness. 

I don’t know. Maybe it’s just too soon and after a day or so to process I’ll get a better grip on things. I still can’t help but feel as though I’ve become seriously jaded against the world right now, and I don’t particularly like that. Anyway… it’s late. I need to get some sleep. Until later Bloggies.

Unsolved Mysteries

Well, I guess the weather sirens will forever and always be a problem. There was an article in the paper yesterday addressing all the siren woes (front page too!) And I guess it’s just how our system is set up.

It’s radio controlled, each siren is it’s own self contained system, and they operate on a frequancy similar to those used by fire stations accross the country. When the atmopshereic conditions are JUST RIGHT, certain radio signals will bounce off of the atmosphere and back to Earth only God knows where. If those signals are JUST RIGHT, it will set off the sirens. This is apparently also why we went all season last year with out a regular testing schedule, and why the sirens went off so seemingly obsessivly the year before.  We were apparently terrorizing some small town in Ohio with our fire alerts. Lol.

Every time our fire department would issue a call their weather sirens would go off, and every time their weather sirens would go off our fire department would leap to action for an “imaginary” fire and one of the weather sirens HERE would sound. All season last year they were trying to figure this out. Our sirens were out of commission ALL SEASON last year. Comforting thought, yes? That issue has been resolved and the sirens are back online for the moment unless we get another round of weird radio interruption in the near future.

Do you know what else is comforting to know? This particular company who maintains our sirens has informed us that this is the MOST RELIABLE method to sound the sirens. Hardwiring them fails more often than not. So basically until they get a new company (which they probably never will) we have completely unreliable weather sirens. Which, you know, is awesome when the power goes out and we have no other way to check the weather. Guess we’ll be spending a lot of time on the internet huddled in our storm bathroom while the sirens may or may not be alerting us to impending doom.

At least they’re aware of the problem and trying to find a solution instead of just blowing it off. Anyway, we’re off to get gardening supplies. Hopefully we can get our ground ready and maybe some things planted this afternoon. Yay fresh produce! Until later Bloggies. 🙂

Longing For Words

Exactly what I needed to read today. Especially in the heat of CampNaNo!

Boomie Bol

I long for the days when words flowed
Like rivers of many water
Pens running dry at the sight of paper
Inks wasted not night after night
Blisters and finger sores
A sign of victory
Wisely masked between metaphors
And Sunday’s steamy nights

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Grumpy Hale

I’m sorry Bloggies but today I am in a mood. I didn’t sleep well last night and after I FINALLY went to sleep at 4am the weather siren went off for NO REASON. Then it continued to sound for THREE HOURS no weather warnings, barely even a sprinkle of rain. Why did it keep sounding? It was BROKEN. The weather sirens they only tested once last year wound up being broken this season. Gee, who thought that might happen? Maybe the NWS who recomends that you test the sirens monthly?? GAH. This place has more trouble with weather sirens and their use than any other place I’ve ever lived. Two years ago they sounded them for everything. Watch, warning, basically any time it rained, and they tested them weekly. Last year after complaints that no one took the sirens seriously, they decided they would only sound them after a funnel cloud had been physically spotted, but instead of announcing this they just stopped sounding them for everything else including the tests.

THIS YEAR, people finally got the memo that the sirens are only being used for immediate threats and then they have malfunctioning sirens all over the place because they haven’t been properly tested and maintained over the last season. I, for one, am completely fed up with this. We don’t have tv service and we lose our internet service more often than not in severe storms. I depend on those sirens to be accurate at least PART of the time. I know no one can be 100% accurate especially when it comes to weather, but there are systems in place that need to be followed. The tests need to happen, and public announcements need to be made if there are changes to the protocol. Like not a teeny blip in the paper that no one reads but actual public announcements. Local news, social media, ANYTHING to get people informed. I mean really. That’s your JOB to make sure people are INFORMED of impending doom.

Blah… anyway. So that woke me up this morning at an un Godly hour, and I haven’t been able to get in a good mood ever since. I need some yoga and meditation. I think that’s what I’ll do during Nora’s nap time this afternoon. Anyway… until later Bloggies. 🙂

All The Tornadoes in Texas

My brain has been filled with randomness during this NaNo adventure which has all been flowing out into my dreams. Well at least I assume it’s all the NaNo randomness. I’m not sure. I just went into dreams of tornadoes in Texas after four months of earthquakes and volcanic eruptions in Colorado. I mean the tornado part I get. We are smack dab in the middle of our first severe weather outbreak of the season, and they have been talking about it on the news for a week in order to get people prepared. So the tornados are not a mystery. Why we are suddenly living in Texas during these tornados is what I’m having trouble wrapping my head around. 

I guess it’s because Kevin’s family from Arlington is supposed to come up next month for a visit. That has to be it… or maybe because we were talking about No Country for Old Men recently. I don’t know. All I know is that we are living in this house kind of in the middle of nowhere in the desert of Texas and we have to keep preparing and hiding from this storm that is producing tornadoes all over the place. It’s the same every night. I’m pregnant with Baby 2, and Kevin is working. I leave town with our weekly groceries and see this nasty looking storm on the horizon. We get home, I unpack everything, and then all weather hell breaks loose. We all survive, and the rest of my dream consist of me walking the ten miles or so into town looking for Kevin. It’s pretty intense.

Anyway… I should probably get off the computer since the weather in reality is getting pretty rumbly. Until later Bloggies! 🙂

The Inevitable No

Nora has figured out her walker. She is all over the place because of this, and just yesterday she figured out that she can reach things in places that were previously out of her grasp. She snatched a gum wrapper off of the table as I was walking by with her yesterday and you would have thought it was the end of the world when I took it away from her. Screaming, crying, carrying on just because I told her no, and took something away. This afternoon she grabbed a hold of Kevin’s computer cord which was dangling a bit too close to the floor and it was headed directly for her mouth. I caught her and took it away, and yet again screaming, flailing, carrying on like I had just crushed her soul or something.

I’m not even being MEAN about it when I take things away. Not even raising my voice! I simply tell her no, explain why, and take it away. I know she doesn’t completely understand the reasons I give her, but she’ll never learn if I just keep snatching things and saying no with out an explanation. 

In short it has been a battle royal with my Little the past day and a half. lol. After I took the computer cord away from her she wouldn’t even look at me. She smiled at Kevin, gave him a hug and giggled when he was talking to her, but as soon as I took her or tried to talk to her I got an instant glare, and a fussy WAH! lol. She is not lacking in personality my Little. That is for SURE.

She is also completely confused by the “lack” of clothing I’ve been dressing her in these last few warm days. She looks at me like I’m completely crazy and have lost my mind when I only put a onesie and pants on her as we venture outside. Today since it is in the high 70F’s I just have her in a onesie as we’re lounging around the house. She keeps grabbing her knees and looking at me like: “What are you doing lady?! My knees are exposed!!” lol. 

I am still fighting an epic battle with WordPress when it comes to inserting photos into my posts. I click the button, drag and drop the file and then… nothing happens. They don’t know why it isn’t working, and I don’t know why it isn’t working but it is NOT working. Grr!! I have so many awesome photos to share with you Bloggies too!!!!

Anyway…. back to CampNaNoWriMo! I’m about 200 words away from my daily goal and I need to get on that. Until later Bloggies. 🙂

Celebration!

There are at least seven different celebrations happening around me on this particular day. Anniversaries, birthdays, weddings, engagements, baby announcements  just a whole bunch of happy today!! So to all of you, happy celebration (whatever your particular celebration may be)!! I hope you all enjoy time with loved ones. 🙂