The Story of Kim

Once upon a time my ex told me the Story of Kim. Kim was allegedly his first girlfriend and they had a fairly lengthy relationship in high school. His mom absolutely adored Kim and was disappointed when the relationship finally came to an end. I heard a lot about Kim honestly lol. Never really enough to interact with her in any way, but kind of a lot for some random girl he used to date.

Anyway… I don’t know why this managed to stick with me so many years later. The details of the story itself I’m certain are exaggerated or embellished somewhere, but there was enough truth there to prick my conscious when it crossed my mind recently.

Basically, in his outlandish yarn my ex also confessed to forcing himself on this girl. Sharing details with me of another sexual assault/rape more than likely to normalize the way he had been abusing me in our own relationship. Back then I wasn’t healthy enough or really aware enough to catch the inferences he shared with me. I just thought it was a crazy story that was very on brand for my ex and the way our relationship worked. It wasn’t the first story I’d heard about a former partner and it wouldn’t be the last.

Now, being healthy and socially aware of how he essentially confessed to another rape it made me worry about her. Which sounds absolutely insane. I know. Why the hell should I be worried about this woman whom I’ve never met and only really know because the ex boyfriend who still (?!) will not leave me alone always talked about her?? My concern was mostly born from the way my he chose to end the story.

The story goes like this: he snuck over to Kim’s place while her mom was out running errands. They ended up in her room, one thing lead to another and while Kim wasn’t interested in actually having sex my ex decided that he was. So my ex gets his way through coercion but Kim’s mom comes home early and Kim freaks out putting herself and my ex in a compromising position.

Mom comes up to the room to see what all the commotion is about and catches them. Awkward phone calls and conversations ensue, Kim is ashamed and embarrassed by it all and never speaks to my ex again. She eventually dropped out of school and disappeared. That was it as he told it with most of the embellishments and details left out.

Me being empathetic me immediately felt awful for this girl even back then. My ex nonchalantly brushed it all off (of course) like it was no big deal and insisted that Kim just didn’t want to be embarrassed at school. At the time I thought that made sense, but now realizing the fact that he actually assaulted/raped this girl believing she eventually dropped out of school concerned me. What if she didn’t have the support she needed? What if she fell into a spiral of depression and substance abuse? What happened to Kim??

So I set about finding her a few days ago, and in the process sifting through more of the bullshit my ex left behind. I don’t really know why I felt compelled to look for her. It’s not like I could help if she was struggling or ask what happened between them, but my mind would not let it go so…I found her. Or at least I found someone that matches what I remember but now knowing how entirely full of shit my ex actually is the person I found could just be a random classmate. He’s attracted to a very specific type and this girl matches his type in addition to the other random details I remembered about her. For the sake of my own sanity, I’m going to assume it’s the right Kim. Lol. Mostly because she’s doing quite well at least as much as she chooses to share on social media. She didn’t drop out, and went on to finish college and begin her career not long after. That gives the Story of Kim as I “knew” her a very happy ending, and gives me peace of mind. Yay, Kim!

Ugh, more tangled webs from my ex. Going back each time a random memory won’t leave me alone, now (without my rose colored glasses) some of his lies actually make sense but the majority just don’t. The Story of Kim is one of those that just doesn’t make any fucking sense. It was like he wanted to confess, but couldn’t bring himself to really say the words. Kind of like the way he started to break up with me so many times; then took it all back and wouldn’t let me leave. The same was he started to tell me how sick he really was so many times; then denied it in the next breath. In our most recent argument the man lied about lying to me. So… yeah. I don’t know.

Maybe he only talked about Kim so much while we were together because the circumstances between us reminded him of what happened with Kim. Maybe it was only because both of our names start with K. Lol. God only knows. 🤷🏻‍♀️

6 thoughts on “The Story of Kim

  1. Oh My! I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I’m glad you found Kim & that she’s doing well. When you mentioned that she dropped out of school & disappeared I was afraid that maybe your ex had done something to her. He sounds sort of like the Ted Bundy type. I’m not saying that to scare you, & of course, you know him better than I do. Just from an outsider looking in I’m a little concerned. I sympathize with you. I had an ex who sounds similar, he forced his way on to me & then wouldn’t leave me alone. I had to get the police involved & everything. Now, honestly, I think he’s scared of my husband. Haha!!

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  2. Thank you. You have no idea how much it helps to hear other people were concerned too! I couldn’t decide if I was being irrational or not, especially on the heels of recently fighting with my ex. It’s difficult to distinguish between a PTSD intrusive thought and legitimate concern sometimes.

    I don’t think my ex would go as far as murder, but he is very sick and a scary sometimes. Mostly he just talks a lot with a few incidents of petty vandalism and personality splitting that have been fairly traumatic. In my case the police have been less than helpful, but I’ve managed to overcome despite it.

    I’m sorry that you’ve been through a similar experience. 😦 I’m glad your husband has been supportive and a deterrent for your ex!

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  3. Thank you! I hope your ex learns to leave you alone! It sounds like he needs psychiatric help. Not defending him or his behavior AT ALL, but it definitely sounds to me like he’s mentally unstable.

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  4. Very much so. He has brain trauma from a car accident, plus whatever personality thing he’s got going on. Sometimes I wish he was just an awful psychopath because then he would leave me alone since I’ve stopped playing his game. But he’s not. He’s sick and the parts of him that recognize his illness keep him stuck here. That and his wife stirring the pot all the damn time with her denial anyway. :/ It’s a hot mess. Lol.

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