Aaaaaand I’m Done Now

The frustration is real as the final pieces come together in the mess of 2015-2019.

I had the opportunity to hear the truth about The Girl in Yellow and I didn’t take it because I was screening calls from local numbers. If they didn’t leave a voicemail I didn’t answer or call them back. *facepalm*

It wouldn’t have mattered if I’d answered the phone anyway at that point in my life. I wasn’t emotionally equipped to deal with it in the midst of everything going on with my mom and being away from my husband. It probably would have gone right in one ear and out the other or triggered a bunch more repressed trauma.

I guess I wasn’t meant to really know, and I’m okay with that. I’m leaning toward it being bullshit anyway. I mean I know my memories are valid, but I’m fairly certain at this point that my ex just made up his own involvement in it all to eventually discredit me later.

It is what it is, but being aware of the missed opportunity is frustrating all the same. But I’m done ranting about all of this mess now. None of it really matters anyway. At least now that it’s committed to the page it won’t be festering under the surface.

Stalker Pants stopped reading my second rant in. I’m hoping she stays away for good this time. Hoping, yet doubtful. Denial is a hell of a drug. She’ll probably always be trying to discredit me in one way or another. As long as she isn’t on my property or harassing me when I visit my parents I don’t care anymore. It doesn’t change the truth of what happened to me and I don’t have space for anyone who believes her lies or half truths in my life anyway.

Plus, it’s time to get the kiddos ready to start the school year. I have more important things to do.