Never Doubt Your Intuition

My long time followers know I’ve been embattled in a cyber war of sorts with my ex and his wife since the MySpace Days of 2008. I’ve been trying to share my story and heal while minding my own business. They’ve been creeping, legit stalking, and breaking the law left and right trying to keep me silent.

The majority of the time the antagonist is my ex’s wife. He just sort of slides along in the back ground and rarely jumps in. He’s in on it, but he keeps his involvement primarily out of the spot light unless I really hit a nerve. She has been posting hateful and hurtful things at or directly to me since literally the first week I set up any of my social media. Seriously. I don’t even know how to have social media without this chick and her shenanigans because she’s always been here.

Before I got a handle on my PTSD it really bothered me. It triggered me, and brought up a well of emotions that I hadn’t dealt with yet regarding the abuse I endured with my ex. I wasn’t healthy enough to handle it, and my therapist wisely advised that I ignore this woman and her antics. Which is primarily what I’ve been doing for the past several years. Occasionally I’ll rant about her creeping, but I actually hadn’t read anything that she’s posted since 2015. I’ve had trusted friends keeping an eye on her and alerting me to anything that might be considered threatening or dangerous, but that’s about all the effort I’ve given her.

She and I have recently had our semi-annual spat. I yelled at her, but never took any time to read what she responded with. My friends did and saved screen shots for me where applicable, but I was flying blind with my retorts just frustrated ranting with zero context to anything she actually said. lol.

Then something odd happened, which set off my intuition alarm bells. For the first time since mid 2015 I went back and read everything she’s written at me over the past four years and realized… my ex used her big mouth to set me up.

I don’t know if she’s in on it, cause I’d like to think she’s a little bit more intelligent than that, but he totally set me up. He fucking knows I’m not stalking them, nor do I pay a bit of attention to his wife and her ranting and he’s been using those facts to his advantage this entire fucking time. Now that I’ve actually read what she’s had to say… I’ll respond.

Of COURSE he set up an alibi for breaking into my apartment. He had an alibi for slashing my tire too. Except, when I published the dates on my blog about the tire thing I lied. He said he had video evidence that his wife was one place, and I happen to have video evidence (ironically) that she was somewhere else AT THE SAME TIME. So his alibi for the tire was complete bullshit and I figured that out within the first five minutes of speaking to him about the incident.

The break in discrepancy is entirely due to the trauma of the whole thing. I was so triggered by both the event and speaking to the police about the new trauma I wasn’t thinking clearly and while entirely unintentional I actually gave the police the wrong date. I misspoke and told them it was the 6th when it was actually several days earlier. I already admitted to that both when speaking to the police again about the incident, and here several times while recanting the story about the break in. The time I mistakenly gave them was ironically around the time she checked in to a restaurant on Facebook which I just saw lol.

I’m honestly pretty curious about how they managed to come up with an alibi for the wrong date which doesn’t even match her public check ins on Facebook… But they very well could have been with his parents and sister during the date I mistakenly gave to police. Since the break in itself happened after midnight during a weekday when his sister had to be at work early the next morning… I’m doubting that they have an alibi for the actual break in. Never mind the fact that if they WERE at his parent’s house on the actual night of the break in it was a hell of a lot closer to my apartment than they would have been otherwise. Sorry, but I’m prone to believe my at the time 4yr old who was developmentally incapable of creating an elaborate lie over my ex, his wife or anyone else involved in the so called alibi.

However, I am certain that his dad told the truth when he spoke to the police. Which is also probably why he was so damn confused the few times we’ve bumped into one another over the past few years. I knew he recognized me, but I couldn’t understand why he seemed conflicted when I didn’t approach him or make a scene of some sort. It was like he was waiting for me to do something and I was the deer in the headlights. And yes, I did run into my ex’s family quite a few times while we were living in the same smallish town for a while. I probably saw them more in brief time we lived there than I ever did when I was dating their son/brother. I never said anything because it was a non issue. We’d arrive next to one another in traffic, or we’d end up at the same grocery store at the same time like people do with their neighbors every fucking where. We managed to peacefully exist in the same general area, which I was thankful for. So why the hell would I write/care about it?

The fact that we managed to exist peacefully was a big reason I began to doubt the assessment from my ex about his father’s character and lead me through all of my more recent revelations. Of course admiring the guy makes me look like an absolute loon after my ex’s wife posting that he was involved in the so called alibi for my ex during the break in… yet, it also proves that I truly haven’t been giving his son or his daughter in law a second thought aside from addressing them when they try to cause chaos in my life.

ANYWAY… that’s fun. It looks like I’ve spent the past four years shadow boxing and blindly landing a punch or two. Just enough to keep my ex’s wife all riled up and in my business. I guess I can’t win for losing. If I truly pay attention and read all of her stabbity rants I give her space in my head that she doesn’t deserve. If I ignore her and go off on blind tangent rants when she won’t leave me alone I validate her accusations of my instability.

*throws arms up*