Spin Cycle

An overview of the cycle of abuse I’m currently stuck in, although slowly pulling myself out of.

My abuser’s usual tactics in Late December-January: “I can’t live without him. Our relationship is worth fighting for. I’m going back to him, and we’re going to make this work. BECAUSE HE’S MINE AND YOU CAN’T HAVE HIM BACK.”

February: “HE IS THE BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD WE ARE SO HAPPY AND YOU ARE JEALOUS. I am bragging about how amazing he is to me so it will hurt you. I win, you lose.”

Late April-May: “You are a delusional mess and I pity you. Your life and relationship with him never happened. Gaslighting, victim blaming etc etc.”

July: “My life is a lie, and I deserve better than this. He doesn’t love me. He loves you. He’s keeping secrets from me! He won’t talk to me about you! He’s “cheating” on me!Nothing is okay! Panic!”

August: “I’m sorry, let’s be “friends” so you can tell me what he’s keeping from me and I can learn more about your relationship to manipulate him into doing whatever it is that I want him to do for me that he doesn’t want to.”

November-Mid December: “YOU ARE STILL IN LOVE BECAUSE NEITHER OF YOU WILL PLAY MY GAME. I’m done with this. I’m leaving him and winding him up emotionally so he lashes out at you because IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT.”

And the vandalism usually happens somewhere in April-May, and September-October depending on the opportunity or means and how many times my abuser fucks with her primary victim’s fragile emotional equilibrium.

Wash, rinse; repeat. Every year for the past 11ish years.