I have forgiven my ex for the damage he caused during and after our relationship. There’s no point to hold on to anger or hatred. I’ve accepted it and moved on a best I can given the nature of my PTSD. Sure it’s not as much “moving on” as many other people without PTSD are able to accomplish, but it’s the best I can do given the circumstances.
My family, on the other hand, isn’t as quick to forgive. Of course one can’t exactly blame them since most of the trauma endured during my relationship only recently came to light with the publication of my memoir. Plus they never liked the guy even from the beginning for various different reasons, the least of those being the way he treated me.
I’m going on the record right now saying that everything they might do and/or say about my ex and his character are entirely their own thing. They are free agents in this mess. In fact as these events, where they’ve either encountered or insulted my ex are just as much a shock/surprise to me as I’m sure they have been to him. Well maybe not a surprise, but an annoyance certainly.
Facepalm a million facepalms in this situation. Like, okay. So what happened during our relationship was pretty bad, and the last time we had any interaction the guy broke into my apartment because he was so wound up with various other goings on. The only advice the police could give me was to flee, and now here I have my family “poking the bear” as it were.
Every time we come to a settlement of sorts, accept things as the way they are, things are going as well as they will go with our history; someone comes along and stirs the shit pot to boil again. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. And honestly, it’s rarely been one of us the two people involved in the relationship. It’s only been everyone else acting on “our behalf” continuing to keep things in a mess.