To Arms

My Little has struggled something fierce with a neurological issue since she was two years old. It started as night terrors with one small bout of seizures. As she got older it began to evolve into small behaviors here and there. I noticed immediately and asked our pediatrician what we could do to evaluate her for potential mental health challenges.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t much that we could do as most of her behaviors were dismissed as developmental milestones, or simply being “bad”. She’s my oldest child, and I trust our pediatrician on 99% of other medically related issues so I listened to the advice of her doctor: “She’ll grow out of it.” Now, nearly four years later as she’s began her school career, other people are taking notice of these challenging behaviors and beginning to ask questions.

I’m both relieved and disappointed. Relieved that I was observing these behaviors in my kid and not projecting my own struggles on to her. Relieved that as her teachers have come forward her doctor is finally taking my concerns seriously, which means that she’ll have access to the resources available to help her learn and grow to the best of her abilities. Disappointed because it took basically her entire early childhood to find some answers for her troubles, and disappointed that I doubted myself and my relationship with my child.

I know I struggle with learning and applying healthy parenting methods after recognizing the abuse I grew up with. I’m not a perfect parent by any means, but when my kid is consistently struggling no matter how many different parenting strategies we’ve gone through something else is the cause. Even if my early parenting blunders contributed to Little’s initial struggle, there is still something else going on.

Until now I’ve sat back and waited for her to “grow out of it”. Now it’s time to take up the arms and fight for my Little.