The Dirty Thirty

Something traumatic happened to me at some point in my past on January 30th. While this year was my most significant PTSD brain meltdown, I’ve had the same issues every year on January 30th since at least 2009 possibly before. 2009 was the first year I had social media and thanks to Mr. Zuckerberg with the handy dandy On This Day feature, which goes back to the very dawn of your social media existence…. I’ve been able to follow trends in my migraines and PTSD events.

Every year… January 30th rolls around and suddenly my head feels fuzzy like an electrical storm and I either have a migraine or massive panic attack sometimes both. This year it was magnified by the moon which is why I think it was worse than past years, but the root cause is still a complete mystery.

I have no memories of anything traumatic happening on or around that date in my young adulthood, my parents don’t have any recollection of anything happening to me in childhood (which doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, but only that I have no way to figure it out) and the only feeling that I ever get from the entire experience is…. fuzzy electrical storm head problems, migraine, and severe insomnia. My body kicks in to fight or flight mode and I have no idea why.

It’s like I’m on the cusp of the thing but it won’t break through… and O.M.G is it awful!!

6 thoughts on “The Dirty Thirty

  1. Awesome, thanks! I’ll save this for future reference. I wish I could block Jan 30th, but the only thing I have is every year noting my migraine and panic. I feel it even if I’m offline. It was handy to note how long it had been bothering me. There are definitely other things/days I’ll be blocking!

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