Roulette 

And now we get to play the fun game of “is this new dose of mediacation causing my anxiety, or am I not getting enough of the medication to control my anxiety?” Spinning the wheel of medication roulette this week. My new meds worked pretty well for a while, but soon they seemed to taper off or cause new anxiety in the first place because I don’t have any real reason to be anxious right now lol. 

Not that anxiety disorders like PTSD actually need a “reason” for symptoms to show up, but trying to figure out if it’s medication related or not adds an entirely new level of anxiety lol. I’m just sitting here talking to my doctor going: “well eff. I can’t win for losing with this thing. A low dose might be causing the anxiety, so let’s give you MORE and try to figure it out!” My doctor is awesome so she laughed, but it’s like seriously? That’s how these things work? 

But yes, seriously, it is how these things work so I’ve spun the wheel hoping for a win! We’ll see how this round goes I guess. I wish my brain could just make the right chemicals on its own. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about what introducing synthetic chemicals would do to me in terms of negative reactions. I mean if it works, it works. Great, yay, problem solved. It’s the other stuff I worry about. You know the side effects of seizures, psychosis, mania, or hallucinations. That’s what I’m worried about. :/