I missed my meds for the first time since starting them in December, and WOW was my brain unhappy there for a hot second. I never realized how much my mind was constantly racing on overdrive before I started my meds until I went back to ground zero so to speak by missing them. 

Of course it was this week during the time change and also my Lady Time so I’m sure both of those things contributed to the temporary racing thought freak out, but I’m back on level now. I thought being sort of a cumulative dose missing one day wouldn’t really have an effect on me, but apparently I was wrong. I mean I guess at least all I did was listen to a lot of classical music and paint with my explosion of creativity instead of turning into a violent depressive mess so… that’s good to know if I can ween myself back off of these after we get settled in our new home.

That’s still my ultimate goal, to go back to managing my symptoms without medication. Partly because I don’t know what the current US administration is going to do with my prescription coverage, since they’re already trying to destroy my mental health coverage, and partly because as amazing as the meds have been for my mental state they have been murder on my physical body. 

It hasn’t even been three full months yet at my current dose and I’ve packed on 30lbs. A lot of it is my diet, and lack of consistent exercise too. I’m not saying it’s all the meds because I’ve been pretty lazy while I was attempting to adjust. I just know they definitely didn’t help matters. I’m making it a point to get back to tracking my nutrition and do some form of exercise every day even if it’s not my beloved crossfit starting next week. It’s going to be harder to lose the weight this go around, especially if it’s associated with the meds more than anything else, but I’m confident I can take it back off. If nothing else it should at least come off quickly when I get back off of the meds, or I can tone underneath the fat and carry it better lol. Something!