Today is the first time in nine years that I have greeted the month of March without a lingering depressive fog from February. I only had two days where my PTSD flaired up and both of them were minimal, even in the midst of back to back traumatic anniversaries.
I’m not entirely sure what to do with myself, honestly. Lol. Is this what happiness feels like? Waking up with out an elephant of lingering emotions sitting on your chest? Living in the moment instead of being caught up in the past? Walking through life with your head held high instead of shying away into a corner and avoiding eye contact? Enjoying time out with your kids without looking over your shoulder, or randomly bursting into tears? Are all of those feelings the feelings that I’ve been fighting to attain for longer than I can remember? Have I finally slayed the PTSD beast into submission?
I sure hope so. I know the nature of the beast means it’s apt to return with little or no notice, but right now I’m celebrating this victory, however temporary it might be. I’ve never been to the East Coast before, since all of my dad’s family are out West. I’m taking this weekend to drive down to Myrtle Beach. Because the bills are paid, the kids are watched, and I can. Stay at Home Mom Perks FTW! I haven’t been on an adventure by myself really since I took off to Tennessee job hunting way back in 2009. lol. It’s been WAY too long.
Hubs is coming over to watch the Littles, which I’m sure they will all greatly enjoy. Having their daddy all to themselves for a while. I’m not entirely sure exactly how Hubs will do being his first extended time with all three of them alone , but I know they’ll all survive.
SALT WATER. OCEAN BREEZE. I am so excited. I don’t even care if the weather is particularly warm, I’m just excited about being close to the ocean again even if it is just for a day or two. I miss the ocean and all that comes with it. Well, at least the Pacific Ocean. I’m not sure how I feel about the Atlantic since it comes with hurricanes, but it is much closer and less expensive to visit. I’ll take it!