A Swift Kick

So randomly Hubs decided that he no longer wants to visit us on the weekends, his reasoning being that it makes him too depressed. Which I believe, because he is horribly depressed every time he’s here and has to say goodbye. He also works way too much to have anyone on the side, I have access to all of the financial information, I know he’s really at work when he says he’s at work. Plus Hubs is the most shy introverted fellow I’ve ever met. If I hadn’t shown an interest in him he never would have even wound up with me lol. He’s not cheating. He just doesn’t want to deal with anymore hellos and goodbyes than he absolutely has to.

On the one hand I get it. It does make sense, plus driving down to our apartment and back is a whole to do. It’s not like he’s on the other side of town or something. We’re substantially separated as far as distance is concerned. It’s gotten to the point with all of his overtime/work scheduling, plus the drive we only have a few hours together that aren’t spent sleeping on a normal two day weekend anyway. I get it, but it still kind of delivered a swift kick to the feels.

 I am supremely proud of him for actually taking the time to talk about it with me instead of trying to come up with lame excuses why he couldn’t come visit the day before he was supposed to arrive or something. That’s a big bonus, and a really important reinforcement of trust over all. I know he loves me, but his anxiety gets him every time. It cripples him from doing things he would under normal circumstances enjoy like visiting with his wife and kids, yet he won’t go to the doctor and get his prescriptions changed/refilled so he can feel better. I just don’t understand that entire mindset honestly. It’s how Hubs has been for a substantial amount of time, and probably always will be. It doesn’t affect my love for him (or my commitment to him *ahem*) I only wish he could over come this burden. 

Maybe this extended period of time apart will be good for us in that respect. Looking on the brighter side.