I don’t really have time to write, but if I don’t sit down and try to make sense of this madness my brain might explode.
Everything went well as far as the delivery, and Little has adjusted to her brothers wonderfully. The two things I was most concerned with turned out to be the easiest. Even having two newborns hasn’t been as difficult as I anticipated.
What got me is Little B2. We’ve been back to the hospital with him three times for additional bloodwork. It looks like he has a congenital thyroid condition, which is thankfully 100% treatable, but he will have to visit a specialist, and be on medication for the rest of his life. He also has a much higher chance of mental issues, which with our current family track record is a very disappointing thing to hear about your nine day old infant.
So, I’m running on five or six hours of sleep daily, trying to take it easy and not tear open my incision, my mom is here “helping” again, my youngest kiddo is sick, I’m dealing with postpartum mood shifts, it’s December which is historically a difficult month for my PTSD, and I have zero access to any of my usual coping mechanisms. I can’t drive for another week, I can’t go to the gym for another month, even when I can get back to the gym I’m on lifting restrictions until June, and I have no time to blog and organize my thoughts.
I anticipated a difficult time with their birthday in December and I’ve been doing my best to prepare, but B2 really threw me for a loop. I’m so exhausted, emotionally more than physically, and this adventure is just getting started.