See, now while 95% of PTSD is just incredibly awful, there are a few perks that come with surviving. Case and point: I’m heading for major surgery, two new infants, a toddler, and zero reliable help (aside from Hubs, but he only has a week off, most of which will be spent in the hospital) on the horizon and I’m just like: “A’ight. Let’s do this! Crazy pain? Three small people to tend to plus making time for myself and Hubs? Attempting to keep up with house work? Eight week standard recovery period? All the holidays? Ha! CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.”
I’m not worried about it. I’m almost looking forward to it. Aside from the actual pain. I’m not a very nice person when I’m in pain. I can power my way through it, but watch out if you wander into my path! So… That’s going to be one of the biggest challenges, and what I’m worried about more than anything else. Of course, one of the other PTSD Perks is my stupid high pain threshold. It takes A LOT before I’m incapacitated. Not as much to make me grumpy, but quite a substantial amount to really slow me down especially in a survival situation like tending for my kiddos.
They will offer me pain management, but with my allergy to acetaminophen it takes out a lot of the major players, aside from narcotics and I reeeeeeeeeeeeally don’t need anything like that. I’m too stubborn to be addicted to anything (at least with my prior experience) but why risk it? There’s always a first time and I certainly don’t need to get stuck in the throes of addiction while attempting to care for two infants and recover from postpartum hormonal shifts.
The waiting is making everything worse. I would have rather not known my scheduled date and just shown up for any old appointment and been whisked away to surgery. I do much better with random or surprise stress than anticipated stress. Hubs is the exact opposite. Lol. So I guess it’s better that we do know so he can schedule the time off and what nots. I just hope all of the build up of anticipation and adrenaline doesn’t cause any complications with the surgery on my part.
Either way, I am SO ready to meet these little boys bouncing around in my middle. Both because they are taking up so much room, and because it’s just exciting getting to meet new Littles. I love watching our Bigger Little grow, learn and develop her own unique personality. I can’t wait to watch these two new Littles do the same. Five more weeks!!