Sticker Shock

Any fellow moms out there know how weird it is to find out your pregnant before you can start feeling the baby move. I mean I watched my Littles’ heart beat on the ultrasound and saw each of them, already unique, hanging out on their respective sides of the womb. They’re in there, but still a bit small for me to really feel them swimming around. It hasn’t REALLY sank in that there are two of them, and it probably won’t until our next appointment or when they grow big enough for me to feel them individually moving around. Which should actually be in the next few weeks. Perk of multiple pregnancy? It’s a SHORT pregnancy. By short I mean an average of 36 weeks instead of 40, but in pregnancy land every day closer to birth counts.

I’m excited to welcome these two little people into our lives. Little 1 is going to have a time adjusting, but we’ve been talking with her about being the “big girl” now and she’s been excited to get her new “big girl” things. She also loves playing with the other smaller kids at the gym so I think she’ll warm up to siblings when they actually arrive. The theoretical conversations don’t make much sense in her two year old world. Plus she’s been all upset because I haven’t been feeling well for almost two weeks with the lung thing. I FINALLY turned a corner today and I’m feeling pretty good, aside from all of the pregnancy symptoms hitting me like a ton of bricks again anyway lol.

It actually hasn’t been too bad. I mean it’s definitely morning sickness, and due to the double dose of pregnancy hormones it is a bit more pronounced than with my first (successful) pregnancy, but nothing that I feel completely disabled by. I feel like crap mostly because I’ve been laying around doing nothing for two weeks more than I feel crappy due to morning sickness. lol. I hope to get back to the gym either tomorrow or Monday. I haven’t officially decided. Doctor said to treat this pregnancy just like I would a singleton pregnancy until they found a reason not to so that’s exactly what I plan to do. There are some greater risks associated with multiples, but nothing on the immediate horizon. I’m anxiously awaiting the end of the first trimester so we can start buying and planning. As gross as I might feel through out pregnancy, I absolutely LOVE it. I wouldn’t give up the experience for anything else in the world.

I am a little more nervous this go around with the financial impact The House of Hale is going to take. Things are pretty nickel and dime now with just the three of us. Not really because they have to be, but mostly because we’re just careless with our spending and saving. We have our investments for dire emergencies, but as far as putting money aside for casual use or fun things we aren’t so great at setting things aside. It will be easier if I can ever get back to school which will eventually lead to a decent salary job, but with the strain on one income taking a giant two infant hit it makes me antsy. Mostly because it stresses out Hubs and Hubs is not a fun person to be around while he is stressed. 

It almost did in the marriage with one kiddo being added to the mix, I’m a bit apprehensive with two joining us. Although, with Little 1, it was our first time doing EVERYTHING infant related. At least we’ve learned some of the tricks of the trade so to speak this go around. It won’t be such a cluster ef of panic when Littles 2 and 3 arrive. Especially since we’re starting to stock up on necessary infant items SUPER early this go around. Diapers and diapers and diapers. We didn’t with Little 1 because Hubs gets paid weekly, and it happened to work out one pack of diapers lasted an entire week unless she was sick. We just added it into the weekly grocery rotation and that was that. THIS TIME, we’re stock piling. We’ll have to especially since Hubs’ work is mostly seasonal and Littles 2 and 3 are due to arrive during the slow season. 

I expect my diet to go straight to hell when we are financially adjusting too. I’m sure everything will work out just fine, it always does and my dad supported three kids and a stay at home partner with an income comparable to ours so… I know it’s doable, I just really don’t like putting all of that extra strain on Hubs now knowing how it actually affects him. With Little 1 I was pretty selfish and demanding because I didn’t understand how much time Hubs needs to process things, and how much he already stresses himself out before he gets additional nagging for me. It wasn’t ENTIRELY me causing the problem, we had some communication issues to work through, but now it makes me a little upset.

My goal is to go straight back to school as soon as I’m able to leave the Little Littles for more than a few hours, using my loans to supplement until I get my degree and find a job. Even if I don’t find a job in my field, I’ll be able to get any supervisor job at anyone of the local industries with my degree. I’d RATHER get a job in my field, but with three kiddos on the horizon that I really want to send to private school I’ve pretty much run out of time to get my MBA, let alone a PhD. Sooooooooooooo….. meh. I’m still really enjoying my studies and it’s also really helping me stay connected to my recovery. If only I had been healthy enough to start my studies earlier lol. D’oh! 

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