After the rape, I kept what had happened close to my heart like a special secret for a long time, and doing so kept it a part of me. It was only when I started speaking the truth of what had happened to me that I was able to see it as something separate from myself — as something that happened to me, rather than something that I was. For those survivors who feel as though you are defined by the violence, none of us, including you, are defined by what has been done to us. We define ourselves. Let that secret go: hold it out apart from you so that it can be seen for what it really is.