A Stern Comparison

A few weeks back I wrote out my opinion on the atrocities that are the 50 Shades of Grey book/movie franchise. I put a few dollars in my advertising budget for the post just because it was important and I wanted to reach as many people as possible. 500 views later, I was blown away. There was a lot of anger and ignorance thrown back at me, but most of the reviews were positive, plus everyone who was angry about what I wrote shared it to make fun of me or boost their own ego or whatever and rocketed my views up yet again. I think when it was all said and done I had something like 12k impressions from one little article in a matter of three days. During a holiday weekend no less! It has been my most successful article to date, and honestly it kind of threw me for a loop.

Often times when I get swept up in a wave of emotion I hit publish before I really have a chance to think about the consequences. So far most of what I have to say hasn’t really gotten me into trouble. There have been a few things that get me into a little hot water, but none that really get me into TROUBLE by the legal definition of the word anyway. I was sharing my success with Hubs and how the negative feedback was driving the views much more than the positive feedback and he looked at me and said: “You’re like the Howard Stern of blogging! Keep pissing people off, maybe you can make some money on this. I mean NBC proved it. The average Howard fan only listens for an hour, but the average Howard hater listens for up to three! Take this, and run with it Honey.” I blinked, looking at him with the most bemused smile across my face, and replied: “You know, you’re not the first person to compare my blogging to Howard, although I’m fairly certain the first time was supposed to be an insult.”

So… now I have this comparison from two different perspectives. One being my Hubs: “This is great! You’re good at pissing people off, so why not make some money off of it?” and two being: “Your blogging is so terrible, people just can’t look away.” Which both are fundamentally true. I do have a knack for upsetting people with my raw honesty, and my charisma does keep people entertained whether they particularly care about what’s happening in my life or not. I’m still not quite sure if I want to be flattered or offended. I don’t really know. lol.

9 thoughts on “A Stern Comparison

  1. I’ve just read your blog on the 50 Shades series, and while I agree with a lot of what you’re saying, there are other aspects of the book that aren’t explored because of the high level of criticism (and sort of rightly so) about the abusive relationship it seems to glorify.
    Like your experience with your ex, Grey was abused himself and sees his controlling nature in the “playroom” as a result and a way to gain his control back – he does nothing without Ana’s consent. Ana leaves at the end – although he tries to stop her, she goes.
    While he tries to control her, for now at least, she is keeping her wits about her and knows what she wants – she isn’t giving in that easily.

    I think what a lot of people don’t like is the manipulation there seems to be – Grey shows innocent Ana a new world, he takes her virginity and then tries his hardest to win her. Some see this as sweet, some see it as controlling. The thing is, like a lot of books/films, sometimes we need to look further into the story than the story being told. Grey was abused, and you can see he genuinely cares about Ana and wants to let himself go, but is too scared to. Don’t get me wrong, he is controlling and manipulative, but I don’t think it’s meant to come across in the way it has.

    The books are awfully written. I read all 3, and have read another 2 series in the same kind of genre/category which are better written – The Crossfire series shows healing in the relationship between them. There are elements of abuse/manipulation in the books, but I can also see the better story underneath – but maybe I look too far into things.

    I don’t want to come across as naive, I was in a controlling relationship (almost mimicking 50 shades if you like – without the weird bedroom stuff). He was my first, I thought I loved him, he made me feel guilty if I didn’t want to do things. Yes, it does still affect me today, but I think we sometimes need to look deeper into a story than just a bloke trying to abuse and control his partner. Nothing was done if Ana didn’t want it to be done.

    I don’t mean to criticise your post, I’m not. I just thought I’d give a little insight on my thoughts. Sorry it’s on the wrong post, there was no comment box. Also, I can’t believe how deeply I’ve read into fictional characters.

    C.x

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  2. I appreciate your comment, although being abused yourself doesn’t give you the right to abuse others. I think it’s a little easier for me to be vocal about it with a harsh tone because I’ve actually lived through it. Compassion for people and their past is one thing, but condoning abuse is another. I still care very deeply about my ex, but I refuse to excuse his behavior just because he has valid reasons. That’s the difference between compassion and delusion. Grey never loved her, he only used her to bandaid his wounds. If he loved her, he would have let her go. That’s selfless love, calculated risk to pursue someone and “win them over” is predatory. Plain and simple. We can agree to disagree on the subject. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your opinion 🙂

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  3. I’m not saying it’s right to condone, and yes it is selfish. I don’t think he understands how to selflessly love.i didn’t comment to debate/argue I guess I just wanted to address that there are many layers to the story.
    I was abused for a long time, in many ways by different people so believe me, I’m not condoning, and I haven’t used my abuse as a reason to abuse.

    I like to explore undertones and I guess that’s what I’m doing.

    Thank you for reading the comment and not getting angry and actually listening to the point.

    Like you, I hope women don’t put themselves in a situation they think is good when it’s bad. It happens too much nowadays.

    C.x

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  4. No worries! I understand what you’re saying, my mind is a little frazzled today. I need a nap. Lol. I’ll have to come back to this and read everything again. 🙂

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  5. I enjoy actual conversations with people about things that matter.
    I completely understand your viewpoint though, please don’t think I don’t.
    C.x

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  6. Me too!! I love interaction and conversation. It’s part of the reason I started blogging. I’m fairly isolated in my teeny little town. This is one of my only “social” outlets. lol.

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  7. OKAY. Now that I’ve read your comments with a clear head, let me apologize for being a douche. lol. Apparently only half of what you said actually processed. I’m sorry.

    I actually totally agree with you! I’m sure there is a lot more depth behind them than I’m giving them credit for, but I still can’t support the franchise. I couldn’t even finish the first book because it triggered me so badly. That’s more of my personal journey through recovery than the book itself. Maybe some day I’ll be able to get past the triggering parts of it to give it more of a chance, but right now I really can’t. Y’know?

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  8. Yeah I understand… I wouldn’t bother reading the books. 1) they’re really badly written and 2) don’t do things that could possibly give a bad trigger – you’re not missing out on much.

    Don’t apologise! We all have times when our brains don’t quite compute.

    C.x

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