Cooking with Fire

Folks, I’ve received my first negative comments from strangers. lol. I’m a REAL blogger now! *dances jig* Oh sure I’ve received negative comments before, but not from random strangers. So that’s exciting, I guess? I always expect negative feedback when I post anything topical, but I’ve never actually received any until now. Don’t mess with housewives and their horrid, smutty reading material! 

ANYWAY… moving on. Today is Valentine’s Day, which has traditionally been a difficult day for me in the past. This year? The only pressing issue is some weird sinus infection that started yesterday and refuses to go away. Hubs and the Little have come down with it as well, so we’re spending the weekend hold up in the house eating lots of soup and drinking lots of hot tea wishing hoping and praying that this thing goes away quickly. My poor Little has been sick for almost a week. It started as allergies, and then morphed into whatever sick bug Hubs brought home from work, but the poor kid can’t catch a break. 

I’m excited. Like really genuinely EXCITED that I haven’t had any flashbacks, nightmares, intrusive thoughts, or any emotional mood swings this year. Even in the midst of all the controversy yesterday, I stayed stoic and resolved, only a few feathers ruffled once or twice. I am making PROGRESS. Like I’ve been making progress, but really sincerely making definable PROGRESS here in the past few months. I finally feel like I can BREATHE (metaphorically because with the sinus stuff, literal breathing is difficult right now lol) I know I’ve been here before, those blissful moments of remission, but something about this time just feels different. 

I’ve got my confidence back. I’m not entirely sure where it went to or why, but… I don’t know. It just feels like a shadow has lifted. Things haven’t really changed, but it feels better. This must be the peace I’ve been chasing after for so long. I’m not entirely sure what to do with it, other than sit here with my Hubs coughing and hacking up a lung anyway.