My body finally decided to catch up yesterday. I’ve officially begun the long process of natural miscarriage. Which is both a huge relief, and still a stingy disappointment. I trust my doctor so when he said he was certain the pregnancy was over, I believed him, yet I still held out hope for that 16% chance of an innocent misdiagnosis. There is still a lot of waiting to do since my hormones are slowly dropping and not plummeting, but I finally have my answer. This little bump around my middle is just extra fat and a stretched out uterus full of a pointless placenta.
Perhaps that’s a callus way to put it, but really when you’ve been through the same loss over and over again there really isn’t much left to say that’s sentimental, or profound. It’s over, and we’ll try again. I will say out of all the losses I experienced as far as miscarriages this one has been the worst emotionally. I don’t know if it’s because we were so excited, and we’d been trying for so long, or if it was just the way that everything happened and all of the additional waiting and anticipation.
The positive things that have happened by losing Little 2, I can start taking my supplements again and get back to my normal gym routine and stop scaling everything. BONUS: I can actually participate in the CrossFit Open this year! I won’t be quite up to where I wanted to be since I’ve taken a several month break from truly working hard, but I still plan on signing up this year. With a scaled division for the first time, I’m excited to see where I stack up and how much I’ve improved over the past year. February is my CrossFitiversary. ^_^
I’ve made huge strides in general fitness over the past year, even with my multiple set backs. I reached almost all of my goals, and the ones that I didn’t were through no fault of my own, just very poorly conditioned muscles I never used before lol. Even the goals I didn’t completely reach, I did get at least to the half way point on every single one of them.
I wanted to reach 100lbs on each movement. The only thing holding me back are the over head movements and snatch due to weak wrists. Even still I’m at least at 63lbs, most of them 73lbs. Over half way. I also worked a lot on my running this year. My goal was to be able to run a mile with out feeling like death afterwards. Not only did I reach my goal, I surpassed it by achieving a 12min mile!! This year I’m switching my focus from lifting to the gymnastics. I really need to work on my pull ups. They’re the only movement I haven’t really made any improvement on, but I also haven’t really been focusing on them at all.
We’ll see! The year is just beginning. 🙂