Rebel Without a Cause

Nora and I have been going round and round today. I’ll tell her no, and she will pause, think about it then go ahead and do it anyway. We have kid gates on all of the hallways, so she’s confined to whatever room I’m in yet still she manages to destroy things. It’s not overwhelming, honestly I find it kind of endearing, but it does make it kind of difficult to do anything. I still find plenty of time to do my chores and obviously blog, but I don’t feel like I can sit down and really focus on one project or the next. It’s all part of being a mom, and I really don’t mind it but there are days where it would be nice to get a break.

I think it’s really getting to me because BOTH of our cars are now out of commission. The Jeep is drivable but only for extremely short distances. Kevin can make it to work and back but that’s it, which has pinned us in the house this weekend. Normally on the weekends we all get out of the house as a family. We don’t have any real plans, or any reason to go out this weekend but I do enjoy the change of scenery. Sometimes I think being a stay at home mom makes me a little extra nutty, but I also think adding an extra load such as work or school wouldn’t really fix the problem. Honestly it would only enhance the problem.

A lot of my coping with my wacky emotions includes focusing specifically on ONE project at a time. I can multitask, but only for a short time until I get frustrated and give up on everything. Which is why my housework falls short so much of the time. I’m just like: “Nope. Not feeling it today.” lol. It’s also why I’ve shelved my plans to go back to school. I don’t think I’ve actually mentioned that here. It’s a conclusion I came to right after I started researching my diagnosis.

If everything was fine and dandy school would be a breeze, but if something triggered me and I wasn’t quite able to get it under control my classes would become my absolute last priority. Which even that I could work through. It would take me like twenty years to get my degree, but it could be done. lol. I just really don’t feel like taking out loans on something that I may or may not achieve. It’s kind of something I don’t really like to admit about myself, but I’m just not stable enough to commit to school. Maybe if I win the lottery or something and don’t have to worry about loans I’d give it a go, because it’s something I’ve always wanted to do. Meh…

Oh! Some good news, my nightmares have all but stopped. I had some dreams last night but they were pleasant. A little weird, but what dreams aren’t? lol. It’s nice to be able to breathe a little bit during the day, and feel rested and refreshed in the morning. Speaking of feeling refreshed, I think I’m going to take the opportunity for a nice hot soak while Nora is napping and Kevin is home to watch her. Until later Bloggies! šŸ™‚