I woke up this morning and everything just made sense. All of the confusion, all of the depression, all of the guilt, all of the intrusive thoughts just seemed to vanish. I knew exactly what I needed to do and why I needed to do it. The fog had been lifted and the pathway was clear. It’s kind of weird to have that clear path in front of me since I’ve been lost in the fog for so long but it feels pretty amazing actually.
Part of my clear path is realizing that sharing parts of my journey here are more harmful than good. Not to myself, but to others. I’m not changing the format of my blog at all. I am still going to discuss all the goings on at the House of Hale and my journey through overcoming my PTSD, but things are going to become much more generalized. Not truly vague, but not quite so personal either. My internal monologue isn’t quite fit for the public eye. Not because there’s anything wrong, but sometimes the intensity with which I dive into things scares people. I’m an exceptionally emotional person which I discussed several posts ago with the possibility of being an Indigo. I’ve always dealt with my emotions so to me they just are. They aren’t scary, wrong, over dramatic, or “crazy”. Writing them all down here opens up a host of misunderstandings, which often leads to conflict and MORE crazy emotions. Lol.
I also want to be clear that it isn’t any specific individual, individuals, or recent event(s) that have contributed to my decision. It’s a conclusion I came to of my own accord. I’m not exactly sure what contributed to it, but right now it just makes sense. Kind of like it just makes sense for me to delete my social media profiles. Again, no recent events or specific people contributed, it just seems like the logical thing to do regarding my fresh out look on life. I don’t know. I mean I practically live on Facebook I’ll probably change my mind after taking a break for a few days. Lol who knows?
It just feels really good here right now finally at peace with so many things. I still have a mountain of issues to work through but at this point I’m like one down! Victory!! Lol 🙂 until later Bloggies