Oh therapy… you are so good for me, and yet so incredibly annoying at the same time. It’s mostly frustrating when days like today happen. I sat for an hour with my therapist and she was bouncing ideas off of me like a rubber ball. Helpful in one sense providing me with confirmation of things I’ve realized for a very long time about myself, but annoying at the same time BECAUSE it’s not anything new. I’ve known these things about myself for years, I just never had any confirmation. Apparently in addition to the PTSD, I’m also an Indigo personality, which means I function on a higher level emotionally and spiritually than most folks. So while I’m sitting here explaining all of my deepest deep feelings, and people are all like: “whaaaaat are you talking about?!” Yep. That’s why. lol.
I started researching it a while back because one of my favorite musicians wrote a song about it. I kind of filed it away as a little nugget of understanding myself, but by the very nature of the circumstances that make me an Indigo I couldn’t really SHARE with people, because they wouldn’t get it. lol. It was refreshing to hear it from some one with… credentials, I guess? I guess in a way it sort of validated what I already knew about myself which was nice, but also disheartening. Therapy isn’t going to be this magic fix all for me, like I thought it was. I’m stuck. I will always have a depth of emotion and understanding that other people will just NOT get, and have WAY too much empathy for my own good. Grrrrr!! *shakes fist*
Anyway… Here’s the song, and some of the basic traits of an Indigo that I’ve recognized in myself for a loooooooong time. Those who know me will best will immediately recognize them as “me.” lol.
Indigo Adult Characteristics
- Are intelligent, though may not have had top grades.
- Are very creative and enjoy making things.
- Always need to know WHY, especially why they are being asked to do something.
- Had disgust and perhaps loathing for much of the required and repetitious work in school.
- Were rebellious in school in that they refused to do homework and rejected authority of teachers.
- May have experienced early existential depression and feelings of helplessness. These may have ranged from sadness to utter despair. Suicidal feelings while still in high school or younger are not uncommon in the Indigo Adult.
- Have difficulty in service-oriented jobs. Indigos resist authority and caste system of employment.
- Prefer leadership positions or working alone to team positions.
- Have deep empathy for others, yet an intolerance of stupidity.
- May be extremely emotionally sensitive including crying at the drop of a hat (no shielding) Or may be the opposite and show no expression of emotion (full shielding).
- May have trouble with RAGE.
- Have trouble with systems they consider broken or ineffective, ie. political, educational, medical, and legal.
- Alienation from or anger with politics – feeling your voice won’t count and/or that the outcome really doesn’t mattter.
- Anger at rights being taken away, fear and/or fury at “Big Brother watching you.”
- Have a burning desire to do something to change and improve the world. May be stymied what to do. May have trouble identifying their path.
- Have spiritual interest appear fairly young – in or before teen years.
- Have strong intuition.
- Random behavior pattern or mind style – (symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder). May have trouble focusing on assigned tasks, may jump around in conversations.
- Have had psychic experiences, such as premonitions, seeing angels or ghosts, out of body experiences, hearing voices.
- Sexually are very expressive
- Seek meaning to their life and understanding about the world May seek this through religion or spirituality, spiritual groups and books, self-help groups and books.
- When they find balance they may become very strong, healthy, happy individuals.