Bottoms Up

Ugh… today is a rough day. I had one of my reoccurring dreams last night and it’s got me all in a funk. That and I read an article today about STS. What’s that? STS is Secondary Traumatic Syndrome, and basically if you have been diagnosed with PTSD your kids have a 39% chance of developing STS.

Signs & Symptoms of Secondary PTSD to Watch for in Children:


  • Extreme mood changes, irritability;
  • Depression and anxiety;
  • Losing creativity and interest in activities they would typically enjoy;
  • Loneliness, withdrawal and pulling away;
  • Acting out more than a child should at their age;
  • Fighting and trying to harm siblings;
  • Self-destruction or destruction in property;
  • Stating or acting as they are to blame for a parent’s PTSD outburst;
  • Stating or feeling as though a parent no longer cares for or loves them;
  • Becoming numb towards family, friends, and things they use to take pleasure in;
  • Copying a parent’s attitude and actions in an attempt to reconnect with their parent;
  • Attempting to take on more than they should at their age;
  • Trying to fill the void in the family or a take a parent’s place;
  • A drop in grades, or failing in school when they use to have strong grades;
  • Hard time making new friends and keeping old friends;
  • Suddenly getting into an unusual amount of trouble and taking place in violent acts.

– See more at:

It doesn’t really concern me too much with Nora because I’m getting the help I need and she’s young enough that she hasn’t really noticed much of my behaviors. She’s starting to though, which is kind of depressing.

Reading those symptoms above also reminds me a lot of MYSELF as a kid. It makes sense as my grandfather was a POW in WWII, and my grandmother had her own list of traumatic events she endured. It also explains why I was predisposed to the condition in the first place, even after never personally enduring any combat trauma. I’m connecting the dots for my own troubled past, and in doing so it’s reminding me SO MUCH of another person in my life it’s kind of making me sick.

My stomach drops and the tears come all over again. Part of it is due to my own problems, and part of it is due to the realization that in my feeble attempts to save him I was really trying desperately to save the things in myself that I couldn’t understand. GAH. It’s deep.

Being crazy takes a lot of out you, let me tell you. lol. Time for some yoga. Yes… those bottoms I’m referring to? lol Not beverages. I’m staying away from those for a while due to some other WAY less depressing news!!

I haven’t confirmed anything yet, but Baby 2 might be making his/her appearance in June… if you catch my drift! 🙂 I’m going to wait a few more weeks before I take a test or make a doctors appointment, but right now things are looking good. Over the counter preggo tests are basically useless to me. They’re always negative. Even the one I took with Nora was negative, and clearly I was pregnant. lol.

That’ll be nice. Something positive to take my mind off of all of these deep feely things. Anyway, the dog has knocked over the trash can, and is shredding trash everywhere. Until later Bloggies. 🙂

2 thoughts on “Bottoms Up

  1. If #2 is what you want then I am very happy for you. I’ll be waiting for the verification. Try not to focus on the negatives of the past, they made you the pretty terrific person you are today. Just look at how happy Nora is!!


Comments are closed.