After doing a lot of thinking on the matter this weekend… I’ve decided to share this with you. It’s not anything bad or dramatic, but I think it’s important.
When I moved my blog from MySpace to Blogger, and again from Blogger to WordPress I had NO idea you followed me. Like not literally, followed, but you know. You kept reading. The things I wrote to you? I’m supremely glad you read them because I had always hoped you would, but they weren’t meant to be some sort of manipulative tool, or a pawn in some game. It was just how I felt and I needed to get it out. I would have written them regardless of whether you were reading it or not. Like this: I mean as far as I know you’re not reading anymore, but I wanted to put it out there because it’s exactly what I would say to you if we were able to communicate directly, and I figured a shot in the dark was better than no shot at all.
Like I said, I’m really glad that you read it because it gave us a chance to get to know each other even for a very brief time and even though we can’t keep talking like this or in any other fashion the few conversations we did have really set me up for success as far as my counseling and what nots goes. I’m still a mess and there will be times when I’m depressed and down in the dumps, but I don’t want you to feel responsible for any of it. I mean, I appreciate your empathy and desire to help, but none of this is your fault. Please don’t take it personally.