We’re revisiting the topic of regret today because up until this point I didn’t really have any. I was blinded by anger and couldn’t actually see what was right in front of me.
In my quest to delete my blog posts I got curious and started going through EVERYTHING in my internet life. The farther I got the more I realized WHY I’ve had the problems I’ve had for so long. I was rediculously hurtful, mean, and cruel. Granted I had also been hurt, but wow. I kind of went above and beyond. lol. They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but yikes. Eventually it just developed into a habit. I’d been that way for so long I didn’t even realize what I was doing or saying was bordering on just plain evil.
Now going back and deleting all of that stuff and realizing the weight of what I’ve actually been doing all these years it kind of gives me pause, and makes me a little sad. Due to nothing but my own fault I’ve missed the opportunity to have two awesome people in my life, and that will be my one regret out of this whole mess. *sigh* But there’s really no point to dwell on it, especially since what’s done is done and it’s been too long to salvage anything.
Seriously… I HAVE to stop dwelling. I don’t know why I take stupid little things and hold on to them for aeons. It’s not healthy, I KNOW it’s not healthy, but here I am still dwelling. I used to think it was because I was sentimental, but now I’m like: Hmm…. I guess it’s something else for me to work on in the Journey to a Better Kelli 2013 Edition.
Powered by Qumana