I probably shouldn’t complain about this, but my daughter only seems to get injured/have a medical problem two days before her normally scheduled doctors appointments. Her first tumble she took the day before her 6 month appointment, and now today before her 9 month appointment she has a mysterious diaper rash that refuses to go away. Which puts me in the awkward position of To Call The Doctor or Not to Call The Doctor. It’s an extremely delicate dance around Nowheresville. Mostly because the majority (not ALL, I know some awesome parents) of parents locally are either really young and have no clue what they’re doing, or former/current substance abusers and shouldn’t have had kids in the first place. Kevin and I were the minority being that we were in our midtwenties, married, and actually WANTED a baby. Every time we take Nora to the doctor you can tell we are in the minority.
The receptionist is cool, and I love the doctor, but the nurse and the other parents in the waiting room are very judgey. ALL THE TIME. It’s not like oh hey, this is your first visit to this doctors office and we don’t really know you yet so we’re going to be ignorant and assume the worst… no no. This is every time we go there. It doesn’t make me second guess myself, but it does really make me mad. I am supremely, almost arrogantly, confident in my parenting abilities. Nora has only had one cold in her entire life, and it lasted for two days. She eats well, she’s happy, she’s never had a bump or a bruise even after her tumble off of the couch. I can take care of my kid, so to see complete strangers being critical over something that they don’t agree with makes me want to rage and smash faces.
I love my Moby wrap, and up until recently Nora was always wrapped when we were out in public shopping or what not. One evening we stopped at Kroger’s for something and I had her all wrapped up, and she started to fuss. I started rocking back and forth talking to her and cuddling her trying to calm her down. What any mom would do, right? I kissed her forehead and brushed her hair out of her face, and got the NASTIEST look from everyone who walked down the aisle past me. Even Kevin noticed and asked me what the problem was. I not so quietly shouted: “Oh I don’t know. People seem to have a problem with my love for my child. You know, because I’m not just letting her cry, and shoving her in a cart.” Which really embarrassed Kevin and probably wasn’t my brightest moment… but I was livid.
Anyway… back to the point of the post, I get stuck in the decision limbo because people are nosey, judgmental, and use CPS as a weapon. Yes, that’s right, CPS as a weapon. It doesn’t matter so much about the well being of the children, as if the parents have pissed you off and you can make up a crazy story about their kids. I clearly don’t have anything to hide as I post all of my mommy woes publicly here, but fighting with CPS to prove what I already know (that I’m a good parent) will waste a whole bunch of my time and energy. I don’t want to deal with it, so I go through the motions. Even when the doctor tells me: “Oh yeah, it’s nothing to be worried about. Just keep doing what you’re doing.”
All the time, the doctor’s answer is Keep Doing What You’re Doing. Which again, I guess I shouldn’t be complaining about because that clearly means I’m doing something right, I just hate the whole formality thing. Jumping through pointless hoops and wasting time. But then again I’ve always hated that. School, relationships, professionally, I just don’t like jumping through hoops.
Anyway, Nora is ready for her lunch, so I need to get off here and fix her something. Until later Bloggies. 🙂