Bloggies, I have been given a challenge which I must seriously think about. I have been going back and forth for a while trying to figure out if I wanted to further my education or not. I mean I’d love to go learn new things, because I’m naturally curious and open minded, but I’m not a school minded person. I learn quickly and can regurgitate what I learn very well, the problem is the monotony. I HATE going over things a billion times, or having to write papers on things with which I have no interest. It was the thorn in all of my teacher’s sides when I was growing up because I would go all gung ho and be excited to learn something new, but when we were on the fourth or fifth week of the SAME THING I would lose all and start slacking. I know college is different, especially if I’m doing it online from home, because I can set my own pace, but even that presents a problem in that I’m an auditory learner. I NEED to hear the lectures to retain the information. I can read through the material until my eyes bleed but if I’m not there interacting with an instructor it’s pointless. So I NEED to go to a classroom environment, but I also need to be home with Nora and Kevin.
So there’s that, and then there’s the money factor. Sure I can get apply for a student loan and pay for everything, but what do I do when I finish school and have to pay back the money? I don’t really want a career. I sincerely don’t. It’s not that I’ve given up, or that I don’t believe I can achieve something beyond what I’m doing now, it’s that I have no desire to work outside the home other than in a part time capacity. All I want to do with my life is be a stay at home mom and housewife. That’s it. I mean, when the kids go to school I’ll have the day free so I’d like to get a JOB, but I don’t want to have a CAREER. There are things I could see myself doing, but the drive really isn’t there. At least not enough to motivate me to push through schooling.
Plus, back to the money issue, we can afford a loan payment NOW but Nora is still an infant, and we plan on having another baby. I don’t know what this other baby will do to our finances. There really isn’t anyway to figure out how this other baby will impact our finances because there are just too many variables. I mean if we have another perfectly healthy baby like Nora then our bills will increase only slightly, but if Baby 2 has health problems, or any other special circumstances arise there might not be enough money to go around.
On the other hand, if I want to go back to school now would be the ideal time when the kiddos are young so I can have a job in my desired field before they get into school themselves. That way the financial burden wouldn’t be on Kevin alone, but I would be able to repay my loans myself…. I’m sure I COULD do it, but I’m not it sure if I WANT to do it.
My passions are physics, anthropology, sociology, and psychology. Anthropology is off the list because it requires studying abroad, and I can’t do that and take care of my family. Physics I could never get through because I have this form of math dyslexia and numbers just don’t agree with me. I love the theories, and exploring the formulas but I could never sit down and calculate them on my own. So we’re down to sociology, and psychology. Sure I could get a degree in those fields, but what would I do with it once I was done? They aren’t practical unless you pursue them to doctorates which I don’t have time for. So that leaves the trades… Education, Nursing, Criminal Justice. Nursing and criminal justice are off the table because of the long unstable hours. I could make it work, but I choose not to. I barely see Kevin as it is with his long hours, if I had a job with the same hours on different schedules we would NEVER see each other and I would be miserable.
Education. It has a lot of perks such as if I get hired in the local school system I would be on the exact same schedule as the kids, I would be able to pay off my loans, and I would be contributing to the household. I know teachers are severely underpaid, and I’m not entirely thrilled with the way the public education system is going so I don’t know if I want to hop on that bandwagon. I guess I could get a job at a private school. In all honesty I’d rather send our kids to private school if we can afford the tuition. So I mean there are a lot of options if I choose to pursue an education degree… Especially since we don’t actually need my income to support the household, so even if I didn’t get paid a lot it would certainly be enough to at least pay back my loans…
But then there is the whole thing of hey I’m 26 years old, and my SAT scores are obsolete. I have to retake that, I need to get my official high school diploma (that’s a whole other story. I was homeschooled and the local school board refused to grant me my diploma because of something missing on my transcript. Classes I’d already taken, they wanted me to take again, and I refused being an angsty teen lol) English has changed SO much from when I was in school I need to refresh that, I’ll need a tutor in math, and then I’ll have to battle it out with entrance exams and decide what school I want to indenture myself to for the next 40+years while I pay my loans back. After I get that all out of the way I’ll need to round up childcare and figure out what constitutes a full time student. All of this, and trying to have another baby? Hmm… no. I don’t think that will work. Although I can work on getting my diploma and finding out where to retake the SATs while getting ready for another kiddo.
I don’t know… I’m still pretty undecided. I need to talk it over with Kevin again. I’ve mentioned it sporadically in the past few months, but we need to actually talk about it this time around. Anyway… Nora is starting to stir after her nap. Better go get her up. Until later Bloggies! 🙂