You Can’t Make This Up

I had the weirdest dream about a secret society of murderous gypsy clowns trying to assassinate me and a clan of people I haven’t seen in ages while we were staying at this bar/rental cabin in the mountains with Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs. There was also a soda shop in the middle of an emergency room cafeteria style, and a birthing center at the bar. Erm I know dreams are supposed to be weird and whimsical, but WHA??? 

It started by Kevin and I traveling to the mountains for a get away and checking into this weird rental cabin/bar thing which was apparently also some sort of birthing center but I didn’t find that out until later. We took our bags up to our suite and returned back down stairs where we ran into the group of people I haven’t even spoken to in like 10 years.  Former co workers, friends of friends past, just a whole slew of random people I’ve known or encountered over the years. They were all there because one girl with whom I had a falling out was ultra pregnant and she wanted to use the birthing center. (and some how that justifies them all being in the same place even though they wouldn’t even know each other in real life) So they were all drinking and having a good old time (with the exception of Preggo) Kevin decided that he wanted to go out hunting, leaving me with this gaggle of people. Preggo and I talked for a while because I chose not to drink, and eventually we went back up stairs to our suite. That’s when I discovered that the suites were divided into four sleeping quarters and one common living area so we were all technically staying in the same suite. We went up to her room for a while and talked and caught up with everything that had been going on. She had traveled up with a few of our other friends because her husband was working and would be joining us soon. We talked about that for a while since technically her husband was the reason we had the falling out. Her husband and I didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of things and every time we were together in the same room for more than a few moments we always broke out into a heated argument over something completely trivial. Mostly about her, and how I didn’t know her as well as he did and crazy stuff like that. 

Then we went back down stairs to wait for our Kevin and her husband. The rest of the group had scattered off to do different things, and as we were sitting there waiting Mike Rowe and the Dirty Jobs crew walked in. They walked right up to us and started talking about nothing pertaining to the show or why they were there. Just having a conversation for the sake of having a conversation with whomever they saw first willing to talk on camera. That just happened to be us.  It turned out that they were the other guest occupying the other two sleeping quarters in our suite.  So I guess it’s good that we got along with them. Eventually they went upstairs leaving us to ourselves again. We waited for a bit and then Preggo decided that she needed to go upstairs for something. I told her I would wait behind and she waddled her way upstairs. 

Just about as soon as she disappeared up the stairs her husband walked in the door, scanned the room and paused after spotting me. He visibly tensed, and I waved. He pulled out his phone, sort of returned the wave and then reluctantly made his way over to my table. We had a few moments of awkward conversation and then Preggo returned. We ordered some food and just before our meal arrived Kevin walked in the doorway still decked out in his hunting cammo. He walked up to me and sat down next to Mr. Preggo with a cautious look on his face. I introduced him as he had never officially met either of the Preggos and then proceeded to ask about his hunting.

When our meals arrived they were served with this weird drink with some sort of waxy floating film on the top and Mr. Preggo immediately began to explain the purpose of the waxy floating film, which was one of the traits that got on my nerves about him so much. Kevin and I just looked at him and I told him that I already knew that, Kevin had told me months ago. Mr. Preggo stopped explaining crestfallen that he couldn’t shock and amaze me with useless facts anymore and there was an awkward silence. Eventually we returned to normal conversation and finished our meals. 

Kevin and Mr. Preggo left the table to go outside for a cigarette, and Preggo and I headed upstairs. She plopped down on the couch and I continued up to my room. Before I made it up to our loft style bedroom I noticed that there was a suspicious looking crack between the floor and the vaulted ceiling of the living area.

(At this point Nora started fussing and I half woke up so things get kind of erratic and confusing) I didn’t think too much of it and continued up to my room. I opened the door and began to walk in and noticed that the floor began to sink beneath me. Just in time one of the crew people from Dirty Jobs snatched me backwards as the floor collapsed around me. 

When we recovered from the shock of having the floor collapse we were going to call the police so we headed down stairs where we met Preggo in tears. She then explained that was the reason she was here in the mountains to deliver the baby. Soon after we stopped talking she was recruited into this Secret Gypsy Clown Society, and now that she was trying to leave the GCS they were attempting to assassinate her before she could tell the world of their secrets and agenda. She then explained that everyone she had spoken to during the trip was now in danger and that we couldn’t call the police or the clowns would know and pull out all the stops.

At this point the DJ Crew turned into an impeccable team of investigators gathering all sorts of evidence against these clowns and foiling another plot that they had involving car bombs. Apparently some of the crews equipment went missing and one of them knew that it was everything you needed to make two small bombs for some reason. Preggo and I both came to the same realization at the same time. Mr. Preggo and Kevin had to run to the small general store thing for smokes, and the car was sabotaged. Preggo, myself and the DJ Crew all raced outside and down the street where we saw a horrendous explosion. We were all knocked back off of the road and into some bushes, and Preggo and I caught our breath as a twisted and charred piece of sedan landed in front of us. We then realized that for the piece of the car to land in front of us with the force of the explosion that it had been sitting in the parking lot. Kevin and Mr. Preggo took our truck instead of their car. We then saw the truck coming around the corner, and noticed an ice cream truck slowly following it. (apparently ice cream trucks are the preferred get away vehicle for murderous gypsy clowns) Then because it was a dream and it’s possible I was suddenly able to see into the back of the ice cream truck and saw six clowns in full make up one holding a remote and the scraps of the stolen camera equipment. I held my breath as the clown with the remote pressed the button, but the truck kept on driving and nothing happened. Angrily all the clowns began yelling at the clown with the remote in Russian. 

Then I was back in the bushes with Preggo who through all the stress had found herself in labor. At that point the rest of the group had some how just known to arrive and take Preggo off to the birthing center. The sauntered up drunk and proceeded to tell us how awesome the karaoke going on in the basement was until the realized that Preggo needed to be shuffled off to the birthing center. At this point Mike Rowe, who had arrived with the rest of the people started narrating the whole thing into the camera in his Mike Rowe way.

Seeing that Preggo was okay in the company of the rest of her friends, I ran over to the truck where Kevin and Mr. Preggo had hopped out to survey the damage of the Preggo Mobile. Mr. Preggo was freaking completely out as most people would when discovering their car had been blown up by insane clowns, and Kevin was coldly calculating what to do next. I arrived with an army of firetrucks ambulances and police cars grabbed Kevin aside and explained the situation. He got this look on his face and said he would take care of it, and disappeared into the crowd all heroic like. I grabbed Mr. Preggo and told him that his wife was in labor and we needed to go. 

In the next moment Mr. Preggo and I walked into the door of the local emergency room where there were several rows of beds and a food line. I decided that I really wanted a vanilla coke so I hopped in line. Mr. Preggo also grabbed some snacks and we were waiting in line talking to the lady behind the counter until I woke up.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah. Some times I have to wonder where my mind comes up with these things. Especially since I’ve only ever been to a karaoke thing once, and I didn’t even sing. I was just there to support a friend of a friend in some city wide competition and enjoy good company. And how this collection of people from my past some how managed to find and befriend each other is also something that would only happen in my dreams.  Kids from Taco Bell, Burger King, and my home school co op all congregating somewhere regularly and meeting my former best friend ever and her husband? When they’re all scattered from Dayton Ohio, to Florence Kentucky and everywhere in between? lol. Only in my head, that’s for sure. 

If I didn’t have so much that needed to be done around the house I would use this as a jumping off point for CampNaNo next month, but I have too much to do. I can barely get my thoughts in order enough to write a blog post let alone a novel. lol. Oh well… anyway…

Until later Bloggies! 🙂

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