This month at The Patchwork Diaries we're discussing some very intense subjects. Please be aware that any and all posts during the month of April could be triggering to survivors and those recovering from sexual abuse. Also, due to the highly emotional nature of our … Continue reading Dear Readers
This is a complicated and deeply personal post I wrote immediately following the last confrontation with my rapist. He wrote out a comment on a post here I wrote several years ago and I responded. At first I kept my response private, discussing it only … Continue reading SAAM: Draining the Wound
This is important, especially in today’s world of social media.
(My thanks to Barbara Roberts for her help with this article)
I am sure that you have watched police SWAT teams in action at a hostage situation. As the hostages emerge, a strange thing happens. The police treat them as if they were the bad guys. They have them kneel down, hands in the air, frisk them and handcuff them. Why? Because if the police have never actually seen the suspects, they want to be sure that the bad guys aren’t trying to escape in the disguise of one of the hostages. And that is how we need to handle abuse situations, because it is very, very common for the abuser to claim to be the victim – and his disguise can be pretty ingenious. Many hostages are thrown in “jail” while the bad guys go free when it comes to how our churches are dealing with abuse…
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Up first on my roster of guest posts for SAAM is one of my long time blogging buddies CWMartin from Tilting at Windmills. He's been a follower since my blogger days, and has even become a close friend over the years. I respect his opinion a … Continue reading SAAM: Guest Post
I quote my son a lot in my writing. He has said some very wise things in moments of upset, fear, or when a “new normal” is emerging for our family. Most of the time, I think it’s designed to calm himself, but when I hear them, the words land deep and continue to inch deeper, spreading into the recesses of my mind.
My husband had a huge health scare in February. He is continuing to recover and though it feels like a long road to him, I expect he will be much healthier in a few months than he has been for many, many years. When the kids and I were experiencing some angst in the early days of my husband’s illness, my son said, “By this time next year we won’t even be thinking about this. Things will be different. A lot can change in a year!”
“A Lot Can…
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I wish I hadn’t seen his struggle. I wish I could look back and only remember the ugly times. The times he abused me. The times he neglected me. The times he abandon me. I wish I didn’t have to see the times he cried. … Continue reading SAAM: Survivor Story Pt 2
Looking back on things is hard, especially when you've started to heal. You can see those choices that were made in haste and through unhealthy thought processes glaring at you like red flashing becons. They seem to say: "HELLO, THIS WAS A HORRIBLE LIFE DECISION. … Continue reading SAAM: We Are Humanity
I had a wonderful conversation with my friend the other day. She had engaged in a playful exchange with a new friend and was asked, “Do you have any powers?” It was a wonderful question! What a cool way to find out about a person. Rather than the usual laundry list that doesn’t usually divulge who we really are, like where do you work, or what do you like to do? This was a non-threatening way to decide how much to reveal (or not to reveal) about her authentic self.
After my friend responded to the question, she asked her new friend, “What’s on Your Cape? As she and I continued our conversation, before hanging up, she asked me the same question. I told her I knew what many of my super-powers were and that I would draw her a picture and send it to her the next morning.
Before I went to sleep…
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The memories are missing but the pain is still there. I can remember before and after but none of the in-between. I've been warned that over time I'll remember more. It will be hard but as my brain gets older the block will whither. As … Continue reading SAAM: Survivor Story Pt 1
During SAAM a plethora of different and often oppositional opinions show up on social media. I was pursuing Pinterest looking for infographics to share and came across this. The above statement is one of the most ignorant statements I have ever seen in regards to … Continue reading SAAM: False Accusations
Monday I reposted an article I wrote a few months back focusing on a social media trend #whywomendontreport, which was the blanket many people needed to speak up about their own sexual assaults. Today I'm going to go a little bit more in depth to … Continue reading SAAM: Why Women Don’t Report Part 2