Baby Fever

There comes a point in most women’s lives where they REALLY want a(nother) baby no matter how illogical, it seems.

Even though I made peace with my twins ending my childbearing adventure, there are so many friends and coworkers having these adorable tiny humans and I just want another of my own to squish and snuggle.

I can’t have any more children. During my c-section delivery they also performed a bilateral tubal ligation. It was elective and a choice my husband and decided on together. I never wanted to have children after 30, and Hubs never wanted more than two children in the first place so… lol. It was a fairly easy decision to make. I don’t regret it, and yet I still really want another teeny human.

Maybe I just need to baby sit an infant for a while to remind myself exactly why I chose not to have any more lol. That sounds like a much less permanent plan. Lol. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hitting the Road

I’M GOING ON TOUR. A local bookstore that has locations scattered all across the state has expressed interest in setting up signings and readings at their locations in support of my books.

I’M GOING ON A BOOK TOUR. I’m like a real artist now. Lol.

With the publication of my second book, I decided to branch out my distribution a bit as well. Since my books aren’t my primary source of income, I’ve been testing the waters with several local bookstores to see exactly what I could do in terms of getting my work on shelves. Originally, I just wanted to sell some stock and get my books out there a bit more. I’ve already surpassed my expectations and goals for my writing, so this is just sort of my usual “seat of my pants what the hell, why not?” attitude. Curiosity mostly lol. I’m self taught in all things publishing and marketing so I’m really looking for the experience more than sales.

And boy will it be an experience for sure! I haven’t done any public speaking/performance in ages, and I’ve certainly never stood up on a podium in front of people trying to sell myself and my art before. I’m a writer!! Not a performer!! Lol.

So… this is an exciting chapter in my authoring adventure! I feel kind of like I’ve neglected all of my Patchwork fans, because I’ve been so busy working on my book stuffs. I wish I could do both in one place. For the privacy of my family and kids I really can’t though.

Especially if I’m about to head out on the road. I don’t mind sharing my life with the kiddos here with you all in blogland, but going out and about into the real world for my book marketing makes me wary of sharing anything about them with my book audience. Especially in this charged political climate where anything could make anyone do rash, violent things.

I will still promote my books, and go out on the front lines so to speak, but I’m keeping my kids at a safe distance. Or trying to anyway.

AFSP Fundraiser Feature: That Tiny Website

Join Tim, my long time blogging friend, and others in their efforts to raise money for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention during the months of November and December!

Rebecca MacCeile

Hello friends and followers! I have some exciting news to share in regards to my fundraising efforts for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

Join me along with Tim Baughman, Eve Jacob, Tabitha, Sounds Nerdy, and our friends broadcasting the podcast We Were (Kind of) A Big Deal in College .

We’ll focus on Tim today.

Tim is an independent author, editor, podcaster and all around great guy. This project was his idea and he’s been a great help in getting everything organized for us.

His pledge is to donate all of the proceeds from his collection of wonderful stories: An Epilogue to Innocence as well as all Patreon pledges he receives during the months of November and December.

You can find An Epilogue to Innocence on Amazon or at the link provided here:

You can find his Patreon page at the link provided here:

https://www.patreon.com/timbaughmanjr

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It’s Here!!

It’s official everyone: my latest book is up on the site and available for pre-order now!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07J56LWJ6?ref_=pe_3052080_276849420

Before she wrote her memoir, she had a library full of dusty notebooks with long forgotten fictional tales. Each one of these short stories encompasses a different world, and different ideas. Most of them are light hearted, some of them are fantastical, and still some of them have echos of her own struggles as she used her creativity to cope with her undiagnosed PTSD. 

Take a peak into her raw private texts with Novelties: A Collection of Unfinished Short Stories, meet some of her most endearing characters and get a glimpse into the world of an author seeking to find the “one” story deemed good enough for the masses.

Check it out! Paperback version to follow. 🙂

Novelties

EXCITING NEWS BLOG FRIENDS:

My fiction collective is ready for the masses and will be released October 31st! 🤩

I’m pretty excited to be sharing these little gems, my commentary on why I abandoned them and how they all helped me grow as an author. The perks of self publishing! Lol.

Right now I’m just planning on releasing a Kindle Edition to test the waters and see how it sells. My memoir exceeded my expectations, but I’m not entirely sure how well “unfinished short stories” will come across to an audience.

My third book is going well even in its early stages. That one is going to take a lot more work before it’s ready for editing and I’m not certain I’ll reach my goal of publication next Spring, especially with the holidays coming up and my work schedule becoming hectic here recently.

This is why I’m thrilled with the independent publishing route I decided to take. No one really cares if I meet my self imposed deadline or not. If it takes me three years to finish? It takes me three years to finish. I don’t have agents and publishers hounding me for production and interfering with my creative process. It’s alllllllllllll me.

Anyway… stay tuned! I’ll be sharing more details on Novelties as they become available. 😄

Stand in Your Truth

Untangled

Stand in your truth
Your voice may be quiet
but it speaks for many

Be who you are
You are the love
that calms the spirit

Breathe deep
Conserve your energy
Heal

Live life, fully present
Recognize and embrace
the goddess warrior in yourself
in us all
©Alexis Rose, Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

Thank you for reading my books: If I Could Tell You How It Feels, and Untangled, A Story of Resilience, Courage, and Triumph    

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And We’re Back!

A few weeks ago my boys destroyed my keyboard. They picked off just about every single key and had them scattered all across the house rendering my computer basically useless until I could find them. It took me several weeks of deep cleaning and searching, but I finally got my keyboard put back together. lol.

Although in recent months I haven’t had a great deal to write about anyway. I’ve settled into my new routine and have managed to stay fairly emotionally stable. I’ve really had to take a step back and make sure I’m actually stable and not repressing or numbing with recent events in the US government arena and media frenzy surrounding it. I’ve been able to engage in several debates about the subject and didn’t feel triggered, so I’m going to say it’s stability vs numbing. Which is nice heading into the hectic holiday season when my usual triggers abound.

Physically I’m still quite exhausted from my pneumonia. My body is just zapped of energy no matter what I do. I’ve been sleeping so much more lately, which probably contributes to my lack of things to write about too lol. Not much to say when you’re sawing z’s anytime the kids are quiet and safe. Which I have been. This week especially as the days have grown visibly shorter in addition to the cooler local temperatures. Even trying my best to stay physically active during my recovery, I just can not recover the energy I had before. Although to be fair, the energy I could have had before very well could have been adrenaline keeping me alive as my body was beginning to shut down. lol. Guess we’ll see where we go from here.

Dirty 30

Whoa!! I’m so excited to share that I met my running goal over the weekend!! I’ve been slowly but surely plodding along working toward this since January. When I set the goal I never thought I would reach it by the end of the year, let alone by mid September!!

Despite all of my health issues and general setbacks this year, I still managed to rock this goal. For someone who’s barely ran two consecutive miles, let alone ran consistently ever this is a big accomplishment. I’m sloooooooooooowly starting to warm up to the cardio side of fitness. It’s always been my weakest physical attribute, mostly due to being in a constant state of panic in my childhood and young adult years. (Thanks a lot PTSD) I rarely raised my heart rate above 140 for fear that I was going to die if I did so. It was an irrational fear, but the physical sensation of raising my heart rate for anything quite literally felt like death was looming.

It was a survival mechanism gone haywire. Once I received my diagnosis and realized that, I’ve been able to push myself a bit harder. It’s been wonderful, both for my mood and over all physical health. My next goal? Running in a 5k at some point next year! I wanted to participate in one this Fall, but with my doctor’s orders to take it easy I really can’t. Even reaching these last few miles was probably a bit too much. I ran really slow. Like half my normal pace. That’s taking it easy, right?! Lol

Putting on the Brakes

I love my doctor. She’s the perfect balance of in your face facts, with sarcasm and snark but also very educated and excellent at her job.

I went in for my follow up after my hospital stay last month and she walked into the room with: “YOU ARE AN OTHERWISE HEALTHY THIRTY ONE YEAR OLD AND PNEUMONIA ALMOST KILLED YOU. What the heck?! You need to slow down and rest some more. Your immune system is on overdrive and the only cure is rest and relaxation. SLOW. DOWN.”

Apparently I’ve over done myself in terms of recovery from my much more serious than I actually realized hospital stint. I mean yes, I know sepsis has a fairly high mortality rate modern medicine considered, but this is the second time I’ve survived it. I’m in better over all shape than I was the first round, and I am taking it relatively easy for my usual balls to the wall lifestyle. I still have Littles to tend to and I still have a job and bills and everything else my busy life consists of. I can put somethings on hold while I focus on my health, but not a great many. I thought I was doing great getting right back at my life and job and the gym so soon after the disaster I found myself in.

According to my doctor? Not so much. “YOU ALMOST DIED. Give your body time to recover! Rest, AS MUCH AS YOU CAN, for at least eight more weeks. This is no joke.” So… I guess it’s time to put on the brakes, re-evaluate my physical recovery plan and really pay attention to what my body is saying. Y’know, before it starts shutting itself down again… oopsie.

When Nightmares Become Reality

Through out my healing process there has been one pervasive recurring nightmare. It’s always been the same, and has been the driving force behind the majority of my reckless, impulsive behaviors. Whether it was merely a result of my disordered, unhealthy thinking, or a subconscious manifestation of a truth I didn’t want to accept remains to be seen.

Late April/early May of 2017 my nightmare became a reality. My memories are too distorted to definitively recall many of the events that transpired, other than the fact that someone broke into my home and my daughter witnessed said intruder whom she later identified. We went to the police, but I stopped short of having her go on the record with her identification. She was traumatized merely witnessing the intruder and at four years old I felt more comfortable letting our intruder “get away” with his crimes than subjecting my daughter to the legal system and a police interrogation. She spoke to her therapist. I know her claims are valid, whether justice in this life is served or not.

A few weeks ago, another party involved (albeit mostly by proxy) in the whole break in fiasco contacted me. I immediately called the police, who asked that contact cease on my behalf. I was content with ignoring this person, but as time progressed and things filtered through the grapevine of mutual friends and acquaintances I discovered that apparently they wanted to make amends. Understanding how important closure and such actually is for the healing process, I decided to go out on a limb and address the matter here.

It’s been ten years. Over the course of those ten years he’s asked you a million times not to contact me. Up until now I’ve entertained you for his sake hoping there was something I could do or say to put your mind at ease. It wasn’t until last year that I realized that entraining you wasn’t helping at all. In fact, quite the opposite. Knowing him like I do, understanding that he was emotionally stunted from trauma in his childhood, I finally realized all of this irrational, dangerous behavior has been a cry for help. His hatred of me is valid, I’m certain, but by acting on his hatred he was trying to get my attention. I finally got the message. He can actually thank the detective’s insight for that by the way.

I just wanted to say that you have my forgiveness, whether you sincerely wanted it or not. I genuinely hope you’re sincere in seeking to make amends, and I wish you both the best. However, this is not an invitation to contact me, or drive by my home, or comment on/follow my public social media. I’m 100% serious on my desire to cease communication. If you contact me again I will press charges, so please: don’t. You worked hard to earn your license, let’s not throw it away with harassment and stalking charges. That also means no more driving by my home with your girlfriends, mmmmkay?